Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I had a miscarriage on thanksgiving and I feel soo alone

I thought by now I would be ok, but I'm not. Some days I feel really good, but some days like tonight, I feel so blue! I was 8 weeks and was undecided on what to do but it really affected me to miscarry and on thanksgiving. I feel uncomfortable around other babies and pregnant women so I try to stay to myself.

If anyone been through similar situations, how do /did you manage to deal with such a loss with out losing your mind?

Answer Question
 
kyheavensmom

Asked by kyheavensmom at 9:15 PM on Mar. 12, 2013 in Pregnancy

Level 18 (5,660 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You do have to move on. Try counseling as well as getting yourself involved in other activities.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:20 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • I have never had a miscarriage, but it seems to me like you'd mourn that baby like you would any loved one. It takes time. Give yourself permission to be happy, sad, mad, whatever emotion. But also, give yourself permission to forget all about it for a few minutes, guilt free. When you can do that (I imagine easier said than done) the time span will get longer and longer.

    I lost my Gramma when I was 15. I'll be 32 next month. I STILL have days when it hurts like hell to not have her around. Time has NOT healed that wound, but it HAS made the pain of not having her around bearable. Now, I can go for months sometimes without thinking of her.

    Give yourself time. As much time as you need. DON'T let others' tell you your time of mourning should be over by now. Grief like this affects everyone differently.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 9:52 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • I've been through it. Slowly, the pain will get easier to bear, though it won't ever go away. Keeping to yourself may not be helping you, though.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:00 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • Thank You!!!
    kyheavensmom

    Comment by kyheavensmom (original poster) at 10:00 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • I'm sorry you had to go through that! Miscarriage is one of the hardest things to deal with. I had one 2 years ago. I still have hard days :( there are days when I feel angry for no reason and days when I want to do nothing but cry. For me, it really helped once I realized that what happens happens and I can't change that, all i can do is change how I want to deal with it. I can choose to isolate myself (which is what i did for the longest time) or I can make myself smile and go about my day. I'm very religious so I turned to prayer and I am doing so much better than right after the miscarriage. The pain never goes away and you never "get over it" but with time you start to handle it better. You can always talk to a counselor. I joined the Miscarriage and pregnancy loss group here on cafe mom.. The ladies there helped a lot!
    angel122010

    Answer by angel122010 at 10:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • I'm so sorry. Grieving is like this, up and down with emotion.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:07 AM on Mar. 13, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.