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Psychological Damage or just stupidity?

I am a regular going Anonymous

I had a job that I held down for four years about ten years ago. At that time I was married. My boss hit on me and constantly made harrassing remarks, saying that he loved me, but knew that nothing could ever come of it. I was naive and stupid and had never been in that situation before. I fell for it, every ounce of it. Even though he told me he had done this multiple times before. I was having some marital problems at the time, so I was looking for someone to show me that attention. So I broke up my marriage of many years to hopefully follow through with the relationship he had hinted to. When I told him, he instantly started up with me. Saying he loved me, he wanted to be with me. This lasted for about a month or so and then he was done with me. At that time, I was single and this was the only job I had. I shut off all my feelings to keep my job and stay there. I lived that way for four years. That was 9 years ago. Since that time I have remarried, but now have this very bad hatred for this man. That and I cannot keep a job. Every time my male boss looks at me, I feel he's going to start trying to start a relationship or wanting to. It scares me and I wind up quitting. I guess I am afraid to committ. I know it's because of the past. What do you think I should do about it? Do I let it go, do I confront this guy for ruining how I feel about myself? What do you suggest?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Mar. 12, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I think you should seek a therapist. This was a psychological trauma for you and, believe me, you have to lance that boil before you can heal and move on. Repression is not healing....it's just a trick our minds play. Please remember that the brain is an organ that has no purification process like, say, your kidneys or liver. The poison lives there forever and just festers.

    So, go to a counselor, tell them everything (and I mean everything) because only once it's all out on the table can you begin to move forward
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:01 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • He is married
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:51 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • I think you could do with a bit of counseling to work through these issues. You need to gai the self confidence to know that even if your bioss mildly flirts with you that you are smart enough not to make the same mistake twice. You can do this, but pobably not alone.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:07 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • ^^this
    confronting the former boss after all these years isnt going to address the issues you are dealing with now. it'll kind of be like picking at a scab...
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 11:07 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • I agree with the suggestion of therapy. Learn how to forgive him, how to forgive yourself and how to move forward without projecting that anxiety and resentment on people who have not earned it.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:08 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

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