There is so much arguing about each other. I just want to know how many stepmoms married their stepkids out of an affair and how many Bio moms left their husbands, they married someonesle and now your jealous? I can see both sides, but if the stepmom is married to this man out of an affair, i can see why the biomom can be resentful. but in the same sense, if the biomom left the husband for whatever reason, then they shouldn't take it out on the stepmom.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships
Answer by admckenzie at 9:04 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
I am a step mom and bm has caused so much trouble it isn't funny (we are talking cops here several times and a 2 1/2 year long cps battle.) SHE had the affair not once but twice. He took her back after the first time thinking things would be different. The second time she took off left the kids behind then came and took one back (not biologically DH's ) then when we got together she decided she didn't want another woman being "mom" to her daughter and started calling around people who she never spoke to in years to get"dirt " on me which there wasn't any. So she had to make stuff up. Thousands in legal fees later she got her child back and rarely lets her call or visit. She runs from me in stores even though she is 3x's the size of me The woman is trash but not all BM's are sometimes the sm is trash. I did not even know dh till way after the divorce.
Answer by babyfat5 at 9:06 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
I know you are going to hear all kinds of drama but Thank God all is good for us. I mean we have our ups and downs but manage to work it out.
I am a SM. She left him for someone else when she know my dh had me she wanted to come back by then she was damaged goods atleast that is what my dh said...lol.
As far as the SKids everything is good they are very good people I love them and they love me and that is all that matters right. Just live your happy life and move on. (This is for the woman that can't let go) Do it or you will be miserrable. I guess the grass wasn't greener on the otherside after all for the ones that leave to find better. GL
Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:33 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
It is ridiculous and caddy imho! Everyone needs to know their place, don't violate boundaries, respect each other, and move FORWARD....for the kids!! I am both a Mom and a step. As long as the step never disciplines the child only supporting the Mom and Dad's decisions and is put in a role of the supporter, not the invader, everything will be fine. The kids end up resenting the step, causing dissension and discord within the blended family. If everyone is REALLY heart felt, FOR the children, then misery isn't even an option or a thought. Remember, blended families are hard enough, don't make it more so and a lasting emotional turmoil damaging the children, by petty fighting and violating boundaries!!
Answer by blessed5x at 9:48 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
Answer by blessed5x at 9:54 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
Answer by Dannee at 9:55 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
Dannee, I'm sorry, but professionally speaking, you are very wrong. Blessed is right. Discipline should only come from the parents, their discipline structure should be supported by the step parents, they should not administer discipline. Ask any adolescent professional, they will tell you the same thing. It is very detrimental to any child's emotional mental and developmental health for a step to be the disciplinarian.
Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
Answer by Dannee at 11:47 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
Answer by blessed5x at 11:59 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
I post Anon largely in part because I can and secondly because of backlash from hostile Mom's who can't handle facts and truth. Your hostility towards me tells me a lot about you. If your step kids were to be in counseling, you would be surprised to hear what they really think about you. You and your husband couldn't be more wrong in allowing you to be in the disciplinary role with children who aren't yours. It has irreparable damage to the children. You are right, every family is different, that goes without saying, but every family needs boundaries within that family structure and your boundaries are that the children should be only disciplined by their parent, not the step. I wish you the best in your families endeavors and I wish that you would be open minded to hear professionals advice and expertise on this matter. It is harmful for a child's developments if you agree or disagree.
Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Feb. 16, 2009