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What do I do??

I'm a single parent of a 4 year old little boy. And right now in my house its the battle of the personalities. I am in the military active duty. I moved from NC to upstate NY so its just me and my son. and the hardest thing for me is trying to maintain a postive attitude when I'm tired and just want to rest. I tell my son to do something and he does the opposite and i get so mad and upset and try to explain to him but he turns around and continues to do the same things. cleaning up is something he just does not want to do... but he can make the mess with no problem. I tell him time and time again to leave the dog in the doggie area so the dog wont pee on the floor but he still takes the dog out and let him run around and pee on my floor. what do i do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (2)
  • It sounds like he wants your attention. Why not take your personal time after you have put him to bed. That way you can spend time with him by letting him help you make dinner, play a game, sit on the couch and watch a movie together, do an arts and crafts project together, read a book together, etc. He gets the attention he needs, you get the pleasure of not having to yell at him every 2 sec., and you still get your quiet time. It's a win/win. Maybe having a dog right now isn't such a good idea. He obviously isn't responible enough to take care of it and you work all day. I say get rid of it. Get him a pet that is in a cage like a hamster, gerbil, lizzard, frog, etc. By the way, I admire you for being a single mother working not only a full time job but a very demanding job at that. Good luck!

    Answer by vnw1405 at 9:27 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I agree with PP that the dog might not be a good idea if neither of you can take responsibility for it. A 4-year old caring for a dog may just be too much. As for him not listening to you, aside from the negative attention that he's getting from you when you get upset, it may also be because you are not speaking in a way he can "hear". Make sure when you talk to him that you have his attention - get on his level, maintain eye contact and check that he's tracking with you. Set the consequences when you give the request (pick up your toys and put them away or I'll take them away). Then have him repeat your requests and consequences back to you. ALWAYS follow through on the consequences or he won't believe you. I know you're tired, but you need to focus on your son when you are with him - he needs positive reinforcement on his behavior, so catch him being good as much as you can. Also, find local community support.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:01 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

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