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i dont know what to do anymore

on v-day i got my husband a new hat he looked at me like ok. he didnt say thanks you or anything. that made me feel really bad. well we went to walmart and he was buyin candy for himself and looked at me and said what i didnt get you anything bc your always with me. which i am not. it didnt really make me mad that he didnt get me anything . then he told me to go pick out some flowers so i did when we got the pay for them they where $25 and he got mad at me. i was like ok what the hell. well i had a part two to his v-day i got a sexy like outfit for him i shaved everything (sorry tmi) and put it on and called him in the room and he says i dont feel like it. that made me feel so bad i couldnt belive he said that to me. i have tried to spice things up and do things for him to make him happy but i cant get anything back all i want is a thank you is that so much? i dont know what to do. does anyone have any advice?

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mommy033

Asked by mommy033 at 9:36 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • He is acting very stupid with you who does he think he is.


    Since he is not aknowledging you I bet he will when you start to dress up to go out and start doing your own thing who knows you just might find someone out there who WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE he needs to wake up or slap him afew times before you decide this. GL girl


    But keep up the good work who knows he might just fall at your feet and have a long talk with him about how you feel.in love

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:45 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Woah. I don't get how selfish and rude he is behaving! It doesn't make any sense. Has he always been like this or is it something new? Regardless, it doesn't seem like a marriage based on mutual caring and respect. Counseling. If he refuses, then go yourself. Meanwhile see what you can do towards becoming as strong as you can, not that you show any signs of weakness.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:45 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like my x. It's a no win situtation. He sets you up to disappoint to. And we allow it. Ask him what he wants next time.
    pamiiii

    Answer by pamiiii at 9:51 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • he has been like this since he got back from a deployment. before he left he was so sweet and romantic. i have asked him if he is happy and he say yes but i just dont know if i am anymore. i love the man i fell in love with and i an tryin really hard to fall in love with this new man but its just not workin
    mommy033

    Answer by mommy033 at 9:57 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • U MENTIONED A DEPLOYMENT SO I AM GUESSING HE IS ON ACTIVE DUTY NOW OR AT LEAST IS FOR A TIME. NOW THAT HE IS HOME HE IS HAVING DIFFICULTY ADJUSTING FOR WHATEVER THE REASON TO PROBABLY SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED WHILE HE WAS AWAY. THERE R COUNSELORS AVAILABLE FOR U TO C WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS ON A DEPLOYMENT OR RETURNS. IF HE IS ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT HAS TOLD U NOT TO USE THESE SERVICES RUN TO ONE OF THEM TODAY AND TALK TO SOMEONE ASAP. IF HE IS UPSET AND CANT TALK ABOUT IT AND IT IS NEW THEN HE DOES NEED SOME TYPE OF HELP. U NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH WHAT IS HAPPENING. GO TO FAMILY SERVICES AND WORK FROM THERE. THESE PEOPLE CAN KEEP A CONFIDENCE AND AS LONG AS HE IS NOT DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL, IT USUALLY CAN B KEPT SO. GET SOME HELP TODAY AND TALK ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING. U DIDNT SAY IF U HAD CHILDREN OR HOW LONG U HAVE BN MARRIED. GET THE HELP THE MILITARY HAS AVAILABLE JUST FOR THIS TYPE OF THING. IT HELPS.GL
    emily1234

    Answer by emily1234 at 10:34 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • he has been in the army for 6 years and has had three one year deployments we have been married for two years and where only married for 4 months before he left he has been back for 7 months. we have a lil girl that was born while he was gone she is 18 months. i have asked him about counseling and he sais he dosent think we need it like i said before he dosent thing we have a problem. if i went behind his back and got it for myself he would get really mad. i have tried talkin to him and tellin him i am not happy and nothing has changed. he is goin to be leavin again in july or november not sure which yet but i am scared that we wont make it thorw the last one was so hard bc he had to know everything i did and was always mad at me for something (i do understand that bc he is so far away and he sees his friends wifes cheating and what not). i dont know where to turn or what to do from here
    mommy033

    Answer by mommy033 at 10:51 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Wow are you sure your not married to my BF!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:28 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i'm in the same boat missy. i'm sorry, and i'm sorry for myself too. but what my husband and i are going through marriage counseling and i think that's the only advice i could give you. have you seen the movie fireproof? they did the love dare book and i actually bought it. i'm been trying day 1 and 2 for a week now because i thought there is no point on going for day 3 if nothing is changing. i don't know. anyways, one of you or better both of you should watch the movie and get the book. it looks like it works wonders. hope it works for me and for you. just wanna let you know you're not the only one.
    rgie_wermager

    Answer by rgie_wermager at 1:24 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I'd sit down and talk to him before you guys get so far in there is no help! tell him how you feel! no asking for a thank you isnt too much to ask! and if i were you that night i would have walked into where he was and turned off the lights dropped your clothes and started to pleasure yourself! I bet that would have gotten his attention! Good luck and next time try that!
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 5:58 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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