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4 Bumps

Michelle Duggar Wants Her 20th Kid

In the “No-Surprise-Here” category, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar are going for baby No. 20 – or at the very least, they aren’t preventing it.

As TODAY Moms reports, “When asked whether they were actively trying to add another baby to their big brood, Jim Bob said, ‘We really consider each child a blessing from God.’”

And Michelle acknowledged, “I think that it will be a sad day for me whenever I know that we’re not able to have any more.”

In media-land, this kind of indirect answer is code for, “Go ahead and break out the headlines about the Duggars pulling out all the stops as they wholeheartedly go for number twenty!” And so we have.

If you had asked me my opinion last December, which is when Duggar announced that she had suffered a miscarriage, I probably would have said something like, “Good God. A 20th? As, in two groupings of 10? She has19! Close the damn shop!”

This is because I used to hate Michelle Duggar.

In my own defense, I did realize that my hatred was fear-based (maybe all hatred is.) “I look at Michelle Duggar – this woman who is my opposite in so many ways – and I see an aspect of myself that frustrates me, that I don’t understand, that I don’t want to understand,” I wrote. “You see, I want another baby, too. If I don’t judge her, I may start to relate to her — and then I’ll end up with 19 kids, too.”

(Were it not gauche, I would tell you whether or not I was ovulating – for the first time in nearly two years – when I wrote that post, which would have been the reason for my having cried big crybaby tears earlier that day, upon noticing that my own baby was clearly hurtling towards toddlerhood. But I’m not gauche.)

These days, my bizarre and unwanted lunges into baby-lust have, for the very most part, subsided. And just like that, I no longer hate Michelle Duggar. I know that her wanting a twentieth isn’t going to tip me over into craving a fourth. I’m safe.

In fact, if Michelle does end up delivering number one-fifth-of-100, I’ll be happy for her, in my selfish little way. Michelle is 45, maybe even 46 by now. And I’m….not. (Not until 2013 will I enter the mid-forties. Forty-four is early 40s, as you and I both know.) Were Duggar to have a baby, I would feel, by association, young. “Michelle Duggar is older than you,” I would tell myself. “And she has a newborn! Surely you can get off the couch and teach your 6-year-old to tie her shoes!” (Note to self: Do this.)

In other words, I may have finally accepted my old-mother-hen status (I have. I have!) But that doesn’t mean that if some other old mother hen temporarily transforms herself back into a spring chick, I won’t get a little spring in my cluck myself.

What do you think? Do you think she is being selfish?


I believe she is, she doesn't even raise her children, the older kids do. She is high risk and isn't thinking about leaving those 19 kids motherless if she decided to have a 20th child and things take a turn for the worse. There 19th child almost died being born at 20 weeks and their 20th pregnancy (or 21st considering her very first pregnancy) she lost. 

I don't see how a family could handle so many children i can barley handle my two, lol. 


Asked by LostSoul88 at 12:58 PM on Mar. 13, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 40 (119,496 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Research that Quiverfull religion. You'll be shocked at what you read. The children are FORCED to be happy all the time. Being mad or sassy is NOT allowed at any time,even for the infants. The girls have to listen to their father even when they are grown and married. They are cut off from the world in every aspect,cannot spend any time with anyone who is not of their religion.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:32 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • She actually disgusts me, I hope her daughters break away from that madness

    Answer by funlovinlady at 1:09 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • No I don't think she's selfish. Who do you think raised the older kids to be so loving and kind to their younger siblings. Saying the older kids raise the younger ones IMO is like saying daycare is raising your kids if you work full time. The older kids don't complain, the kids are all mostly well behaved, it works for their family. I don't watch the show, but I don't think it's really about her wanting a baby but believing that God will bless them with the perfect number of children? I think she's a great mom from what I've seen and heard and I don't begrudge her having more children.

    Answer by missanc at 1:04 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I guess the thing that bothers me isn't that she has so many children, although I do think the older ones have had a lot of responsibilities placed on them that they may need to come to terms with someday. It's that she's so smugly proud of herself on the show for living debt free with such a big family. But their health care costs are taken care of because the dad was in politics, the TV show has built them a house, and they've been donated most of their diapers and the like. I could probably live debt free, too, if I didn't have to worry about a mortgage or insurance. As to the kids, they seem happy enough, if one can tell from what appears on camera. But I wonder if they feel like numbers instead of names at times. I mean, my gosh, even kid-to-teacher ratios in most daycares are being exceeded here!

    Answer by Ballad at 1:21 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I can kinda relate to her but mostly I just stand looking from afar and shake my head in wonder. I don't want to judge. If they feel this is okay then that's their choice. Her youngest, although having had a struggle in the beginning, is now thriving (is she two now?). All the kids seem to be great. The older girls seem to get to go off on their own, taking trips or what not. I feel for the Grandma Duggar, according to the show, she helps with laundry, something like over 100 loads per week? On the other hand, it's nice to be needed, to belong, to share that much love.

    I'm expecting my 6th (I'd have been happy with1) and its always so exciting bringing a new life into the world, raising that child, having hopes. I, too, share their values that God is ultimately in control of our births and deaths. Unlike Michele, I lack the support system, strength, and resolve to continue having any more kids. I'm tired, lol.

    Answer by HHx5 at 1:26 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I am a big advocate of women being able to produce as many children or even none at all should they choose to do so. But I'm concerned about her health and question her motives. Is she doing this because she generally wants twenty children? Does she know the complications? Or is she just wanting more ratings for her reality show?

    Answer by KimmyDaring at 1:11 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I come from a very large family (each parent has over 10 siblings) I have 8 myself, there is something to be said for later in life having all of these people in your life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • "They are cut off from the world in every aspect,cannot spend any time with anyone who is not of their religion." Can we really know what goes on in their lives other than the TV show? What religion are they? If they are so cut off why do they have ties in their community and take part in so many charity events or take trips overseas? Just wondering because I like to learn about others.

    Answer by HHx5 at 2:13 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I called it the the other day - she's jealous of the grandkids. And my point still stands, when multiple doctors refuse to treat you anymore because they've told you, repeatedly, that any future pregnancies could kill both the baby and the mother, you're not a parent anymore, you're a killer at a craps table.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:42 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • She is following her belief system. She has provided her children with a solid education, and they are all well behaved, have their own personalities, and are well provided for financially. If she was able to healthily have 20 children, I would mind my own business and let her do things the way she has successfully been doing.

    That said, Josie was born very early and had a lot of struggles. She had a stillborn with the last baby. She is advanced in maternal age which comes with its own risks. I would hate to say that someone should give up on their ideals, but I think it is getting dangerous to herself, the potential babies, and their family. When you have 19 children, you cannot afford to risk your life and leave all those children without a mother.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 3:42 PM on Mar. 13, 2013