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How do you discipline a 4 year old that docent listen to anything you say

how do you discipline a 4 year old that docent listen to anything you say , she's starting to act like a little baby im sure it has to do with the fact that I'm going to be having the baby soon but she acts out with EVERYTHING and i cant lift her or stop her really anymore with out it hurting myself. im starting to feel hopeless with this any advice

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Asked by luvstar at 2:49 PM on Mar. 13, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If she acts like a baby, treat her like one. Babies take naps, don't get any yummy food, go to bed early, can't play with toys, etc. - that's usually enough for my 4 yo to decide he doesn't want to be a baby.
    You need to find what motivates her. My 4 yo loves, loves, loves video games and will do just about anything for some video game time, or to avoid losing video game time.
    What are you needing to discipline her for? Try to figure out what starts her behaviors and avoid them. Create new routines that don't involve her triggers.
    Can you give her some choices so she feels like she has some control - apples or grapes with lunch? the green shirt or the red one? go to the playground or the library? etc.

    Answer by missanc at 2:54 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I used to yell and take things away from my kid but it never seemed to work and it was exhausting. When she was 4 I went for a different approach. I would sit down with her and ask what's wrong. You'd be surprised the answers they give. They are very logical. For example: My daughter tried throwing a tantrum over a toy in Walmart. I asked her what's wrong. She said that she's mad because she wants this toy. I told her that the reason I told her now was because it was too expensive. She said why? I told her that she can pick out something less expensive, that way we'll have money left over to go to the movies as planned. It's a little simple but it's a lot less stressfull and less exhausting than yelling or taking this and that away. Try it out. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • ive tryed giving her choice's but she dosent want neither and will pick something that isnt one of the choices , she's doing thing that she know's better on doing like smashing crackers up getting into things that she knows she not aloud to touch she's been climbing up onto the counter's all sorts of things at bed time she bugs her brother and destroys her bedroom and acts out more she dose what ever i ask her not to do. when i pick her up from preschool now she wont get ready to go and throws her self on the ground im 36 weeks pregnant and cant lift her anymore so it get's really hard iver already went threw all of this with her when she was younger now she doing it again but worked then isnt working now its like she reverted back to being 2-3

    Comment by luvstar (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • ive tried explaining things aswell and it hasnt worked she just keeps doing it till i finally brake and start crying onces she see's me sad then shell say sorry and hug me but she docent seem to stop the behaviour and she go's back to doing it onces she thinks that im feeling better ive tryed taking away privileges ive tryed giving her choices I've tried explaining things to her ive tryed giving in to her ive tryed being very loving towards her and ive also tryed being very strict and rigid nothing gets threw she has no reaction to any of it but acting out more and if i do do something that she dosent like she throw's huge fits this has all been getting progressively worse the over the last couple of weeks

    Comment by luvstar (original poster) at 3:12 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • Take away things, like the doll, she will put away until you mind, Like to watch Dora, no more until you can mind, give something back when she does listen, and involve her in the new baby. If she has a fit, put her in time out, and make her stay there, yes this will take at least 100 times, but she is controlling you, and you need to take the upper hand.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 3:45 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • Each child has a currency which is THE most important thing to them. Find her currency and use it to foster cooperative behavior.

    You also might make her your big helper for anything and loading the dryer, folding clothes, picking out the nice fruit in the store together, stirring somehing for you at dinner time.....anything that shows her she is helpful and important. When the baby comes she can help with getting diapers,wipes, etc. Heap on the praise when she does well. Spend time reading to her and spend cuddly time together. Plus plan some one on one time with her alone once the bay comes because "only big girls get to do this".....going to the park, getting ice cream, whatever. She needs to feel special and not replaced. GL

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:25 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • i wish i knew. i have a 3 year old with the same problem, it is exhausting when every thing is a fight... good luck

    Answer by SenecaBabyy07 at 9:04 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

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