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2 Bumps

Ladies in all honesty... Is it EVER okay.

Is it it ever okay for your boyfriend/husband to keep in touch with their ex? Lets say no kids involved.

My boyfriends brother has a wife he was with for 15 years now.
And today, he hung out with an ex he was with for 5 years before her.

My boyfriend has an ex he was with for 9 1/2 years. When I asked him if he thought that was okay to keep in touch with an ex, I didn't really get a response from him. I personally, do not think its okay. An ex is an ex, can't over tha person? Then stay single, until you can boost your self-esteem to be able to move on. I understand that they may have been best friends, but that's what your new girlfriend/wife is for. Yeah, we may not experience anything they've experienced , but there's nothing wrong with new experiences and memories. You live and you move on.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just insecure? They had a 'past'. So as long as they keep talking, that past is going to keep getting brought up! I don't think that's fair for the new relationship.
What do you ladies think!?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Mar. 13, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (33)
  • No kids, then no. No explanation. No apologies. SO agrees and gave me the crazy eyes. Remember he sees the world a bit differently because of the brain injury but he even said, there is One Reason...

    Answer by feralxat at 11:53 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I see no reason for it especially when no children are involved.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:56 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I don't have a problem with it. Seriously none at all. I work in an industry where people often work with spouses... or ex-spouses.. so getting along with everyone is pretty much mandatory.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:04 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I don't see a problem with it, either. Not even a little bit. I still talk to my ex, although e don't hang out because he lives in another state and has a terminal illness. Before he moved out of state, I went over to his house now and then. I gave my retired service dog to him when she couldn't get along with my new one. We couldn't be married anymore, but we're still friends. I have another ex that I chat with by instant message several times a week, and sometimes he and my boyfriend talk techie stuff, which loses me fast. My boyfriend has kids with his ex, but they're still friends as well. We all went out to dinner for her last birthday. Life's too short to hold ill will for someone you once cared about.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:10 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Okay. I'm not saying you have to hate your ex, or anything. But seriously.
    No kids, no need to be talking... There's history there. History does not need to repeat itself, because two people can't seem to let the past be the past.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:21 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • yeah...there could be no reason a man and woman who were together for years could ever have a friendship after a break up. i mean when you break up with someone theres never a reason to remain friends...thats just pointless. they couldnt possibly share non-sexual things in common that caused them to fall for each other in the first place.

    that was sarcasm btw. a mature person can be friends with an ex and stay in touch, even without kids tying them together. a mature person can date a person who still talks to their ex sometimes. being BFFs w/ an ex is weird, but friendly is fine. so long as the current couple trusts each other its not an issue.

    Answer by okmanders at 12:41 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • OK- a lot of yall have said be friends with/ work with.. I understand being civil. I am not saying at a social event "give them the cold shoulder".
    But hang out with? Say, go to dinner with?
    Why, 20 years after a breakup, are you still hanging out with an old love?


    Answer by feralxat at 12:49 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Sometimes a person can be an EXCELLENT friend and a LOUSY spouse. That's why.

    My FIL still hung out with his second wife, even after their son was grown and gone. Years later, she told me they got along fine but couldn't live together. Too bad. If they'd been able to live together maybe he wouldn't have married his third wife who was a real piece of work!

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:26 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I'm very mature actually. I just have my opinion on exes.
    I feel like there's no need to communicate. Yeah, they could have been good friends before, but there's plenty of people who you didn't have a history with to be friends with.

    Although my boyfriend and I trust each other, I still have my doubts that two people who were once in love, can possibly
    never bring up 'old' times. Why do you two need to sit and chat and remind each other of what y'all once were? Plus.
    After being with someone for so many years, you'll always love that person. So why not , let it go... And let the past just be a memory.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:08 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I also believe , if you even have the time to keep up with an ex, what isn't your current girlfriend doing right then? What can these two possibly be talking about? There's no kids involved. No new memories if they don't really hang out. So it all boils down to the past. Once again, why talk about the past? That's not healthy for a new relationship'!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:11 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

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