Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

You know "those" kids...

The ones who act out and the mother can not control them? I have one of those kids!!! I am heartbroken. My son is three, we can not go to the store, even if I try to make it fun, it ends in an argument and is completely stressful. He will hide in the clothes racks, sit down on the floor and refuse to move, if I put him in the cart he will scream, kick, and pout. I hate having to care for him all day everyday with little help. My husband is only home and awake for a few hours per day. My son hits, screams, flat out tells me no, does not respond to time out, spankings, being put in bed, nothing. He will throw a fit, throw his toys, just does not care!!! What do I do, please. Help me be a better mom, I cannot sit back and allow this. I have put my entire heart and soul into trying to be consistent, and when that fails, I switch it up again. Idk if it matters but he has a 5 year old brother and a 6 month old sister. As soon as my 5 yr old gets off of the school bus, my 3 year old is starting a fight about the toys, playing the wii, looking at each other. Within 5 minutes it is a full on tempter tantrum and fight,... everyday!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Mar. 14, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • have you tried to distract him

    i know every mom wants to be the best at consistent discipline, but sometimes you have to pick your battles
    and a great distraction, IF it solved the situation, is worth more than any tactic of discipline

    has he been evaled for any issues like SPD?

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:56 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Try putting him in preschool. The interaction with other children and routine will be good for him. It sounds like he's not getting enough stimulation at home. Try doing stuff outside or letting him get some energy out at the park. Kids cooped up in the house tend to act out. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I hate to say this but it sounds like you have a typical 3 year old. My 3 year old is like that. One stop the spanking, it's proven not to work. Two instead of yelling and or telling him no explain to why he can't do something and what he can do instead. "No you can't throw toys but you can go play with them over there/put them away" Time out put him in there for 3 minutes if he is playing or whinny the time starts all over. Explain to him why he is in timeout. When its time to talk to him go down to his eye level and talk or ask him questions if he is in trouble then whisper. Whispering freaks them out, it has worked wonders on my kids.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:17 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Can always try a token economy system. I find it better to reward the positive behaviors than to try to enforce the negative ones. Mine gets stars forgood behaviors and loses them with bad behaviors. If he manages to earn 10 then he gets to do a fun activity like a movie or trip to the playground. Now if he throws his toys, then we do what is called overcorrecting. He picks them up (even if I have to guide his hands to do so) and I dump them back out and he picks them up again. Then of course I dump them again and he cleans them up yet again. Next time he re-thinks it because he'll have to clean up more than once .But yes it does get easier when they are older. Be firm he needs to know exactly where the boundaries are set so he's testing them.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:45 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I used to dread going to the store with my daughter when she was three. Preparing her beforehand has heped a lot, though. Before we go in, I'll tell her what I expect. She has to stay with me, no running around, or it's in the cart she goes. Then, if she starts in, I'll ask her to repeat what I told her in the car. Having to repeat the expectations back to me seems to make her remember them better than just rattling them off myself over and over. Also, I usually let her pick one thing at the store, like a $5 movie from the sale rack, some candy, it's her choice. But when she asks for the second thing, I stop and have her decide if she wants to put the first one back. It helps her learn to make choices, to prioritize her wants, and to realize she can't have the whole world. She's five now, so some of the tantrums she might have just grown out of over time, but maybe some of those ideas could help you.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:38 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • He's 3...
    sound pretty much like how my kids- especially my son were at 3

    Hang in there- this will eventually pass. Keep doing time out or whatever it is you do. If they fight over toys either get a timer, to take that toy away...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:21 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • i was there when mine was that age, she is 5.5 now (and many ways i am still there)
    i am doing it all myself (her 'father' no longer around) and mine has autism with sensory processing disorder
    stores (with all the sensory overload) are not fun
    in fact going to a store is pure hell
    she will overload, just depends how fast she will lose all her functioning
    loses her words, starts to stim, then will try to self injure
    have left store without checking out, cart of food items just abandoned
    getting her into a car seat while she is in autism meltdown mode- very hard. i try to protect her from herself while shielding my eyeballs

    i think almost all of us have been there to some degree


    Answer by fiatpax at 9:43 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • My 3 yr old was an angel at 2 but 3 has much much more challenging. Do you tell him what you expect before hand or ask him? If you ask, he thinks its a request. My 3 yr old can get mouthy so I send him to his room and he can't come out till his manners improve. I'd even make him eat his meals in his room if it comes to that. I did this with my son and his behavior improved after an hour or so, but at first he screamed and cried (out of anger). Tell him he disobeyed and he needs to apologize and you love him, want him grow up to be a good boy who's happy (or phrase it however you would to make him understand), and therefore you aren't going to allow him to act up. Don't lose your cool, just calmly tell him like it is. This will pass, I agree most kids go through this.

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:04 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Oh, something I didn't know when my older kids were 3, everyone said to correct the bad behavior immediately, not necessary. By about age 2, a child is developing long term memory. If you are somewhere like in public and can't really correct the behavior, it's okay to deal with it when you get home as long as the child knows what he did wrong. I always thought it was too late by the time I got home. Anyway, good luck.

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:08 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • All have been tried. Thanks, it is nice to know he isnt the only one. We take things away, have spanked but is not our normal thing to do. It was a last resort. The past year has been hell with him, I know two is bad and three is worse!! He just turned 3.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:24 AM on Mar. 14, 2013