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3 Bumps

Birthday party invitation excludes kids...

It was a normal invite that my 6 year old brought home from school. At the very bottom in larger print it said, " due to sensory issues, if your parents smoke you are uninvited. Even if they do not smoke on the day of the day of the party I can not have you or them in my home"

I don't smoke, but my neighbor does. She is livid that her child gets excluded. I've never encountered this. She says she is not letting her child be excluded and is taking her anyway.

Would you be offended? Have you ever had an exclusion on an invitation?

Answer Question

Asked by PandaGwen at 10:22 AM on Mar. 14, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 24 (20,747 Credits)
Answers (33)
  • I've never seen anything like that. I don't smoke, but can't imagine excluding a child because their parent smokes, that is beyond rude.

    I will say that I would never take my child to a party they had been "uninvited from". I think that's equally rude, and not right to do to your child.

    I'm always shocked at the way adults behave.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:25 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • That is just wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by older at 10:26 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • That's fucked up.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 10:27 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I've never seen it but I would assume the sensory issue must be pretty severe in order to exclude anyone. This is why I don't like mass invites. Know the people you're inviting into your home and you won't have to be rude to anyone.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:31 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • The way it was done was wrong, but having a child with autism I understand the sentiment. Even if you don't smoke in your home, unless you change clothes outside before you come in then the whole house and everything in it (including your kids clothes) have that faint scent of smoke. People will probably disagree with me but having been a realtor, I can smell it even from people that claimed to have never smoked inside.
    But I think the situation should have been handled differently.

    Answer by missanc at 10:36 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Wow! Could she have phrased it any nicer? Damn!

    I would be so upset that she would send out mass invites at school, then make her demands. If I were the neighbor, I would take the invite to the schools principal and show him or her.
    A lot of kids will have their feelings hurt or embarrassed because their mom took them anyways. This is bullying and that mom needs to be addressed about this by school officials.

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 10:38 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • missanc, then this parent should not have sent invites to kids she or her daughter don't know!

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 10:40 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • You know, it's a medical I understand it and would not be offended (and I spent years smoking). The smell of cigarette smoke can be very upsetting to kids with sensory issues...and the smell does linger in hair and clothes and even the gift they'd bring to the party. I do not like the wording though. It should say something more like "Please understand that due to **** having sensory issues toward cigarette smoke, we ask that smoking parents make sure their children are free from the smell of smoke before attending party." But, with that being said, if the kid does fine with these kids at school, then the kid should do fine with these kids at the party.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 11:12 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I agree, this was rudely handled. The invitation should be specific to individual children if there is the possibility that you would ant to exclude even one for health or other issues. Knowing your child or their sibling has issues should have casued the parent to be more thoughtful about who she was inviting.

    I know the my child and many of her friends would not have attended because of the way it was worded.

    I do think you neighbor is very wrong to take her child anyway.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:13 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • really part of me understands why it needs to be done because I myself is very sensitive to smells. especially smoke. But It was handled completely wrong. If you neighbor took her child she could make who ever has the sensor issue very sick.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:16 AM on Mar. 14, 2013

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