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3 Bumps

I dont know what to do....im at a loss

my 17 year old got a girl pregnant, shes 17 also(they have been together for almost a year).....he came to me last night with her 12 week ultrasound, and all he said was "im sorry mom, idk what happened she has the birth control that goes in the arm, i just dont know why it stopped working" i asked him if he used condoms as well, he said yes except for once when it fell off. the girl came over after my son had left for school with black tears running down her face(wears heavy eye liner) and when i opened the door she said to me immediately "im sorry, i didnt mean to mess up andy's life, it was one stupid mistake and i never thought my birth control would fail, im so sorry" i asked her why she was saying this she just looked nervously behind her and then i noticed her parents in their car parked at the end of the drive way, i just hugged her, i couldnt stand to see her crying so hard to the point she was shaking (nevermind that this was only the second time id met her) i saw bruises on her arms but let her go.

i feel terrible, i dont know what to think.....i dont know how to act, iv just been sitting here on the couch staring at the wall thinking of what to do or say. i just dont know.....

they left school at lunch because she got sick, so shes sleeping right now, but my ds said her bruises could have come from her parents or her older brother.....i'll ask her when she wakes up. im also calling my oldest son to see if he can get my 17 yo in to work with him after school...thats all i got so far....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Mar. 14, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Answers (23)
  • Yeah he needs a job. You have only met his girlfriend of a year twice? Sounds like it is time to step up and treat her like family. Investigate those bruises!
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:14 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • What Staci said.
    Is the girl in any sports or gymnastics that could explain the bruises?
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 4:16 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • @staciandababy im going to ask her as soon as she wakes up, if she says its from her brother or parents im going to call the police, and have them escort her through their house so she can pack her things and she can stay here
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • @JulieJacobKyle no not at all, shes in choir and art but thats it no sports or anything
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:19 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • First of all, assure her that its not the end of either one of their worlds. Will it be challenging and difficult, yes. But that's life. I would ask her what her long term plan is. I would ask if she had thought about her alternatives and her thoughts on those. I would tell her that she is not alone and if she ever feels that she needs moral support that I would be there for her. If she said that her parents or family are getting physical with her that she is welcome to stay at my house, at least until the baby is born and then living arrangements can be revisited. I would recommend that after she has a idea of what she wants the future to hold that you, your DS, the girlfriend and her family all sit down (somewhere public but casual) to discuss a plan of action.
    At least that's what I think I would do.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:21 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Anon, I think that would be an appropriate way to handle it, if there is abuse involved. Poor girl.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 4:22 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • She could also be anemic from pregnancy and that will make her bruise easily. Six months to prepare for a baby. Wow!
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:22 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • staciandababy-i hadnt thought of that, but my ds still said there would be no other way other then her parents or brother grabbing her hard or shoving her
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:25 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I agree with what QuinnMae said
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 4:33 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • That's so sad, that someone would resort to grabbing or shoving a pregnant family member. What's done is done, and I'm glad the girl has you in her life. Everything will work out, one way or another.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:34 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

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