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4 Bumps

Sick and tired of this.

This woman just can't take a hint. My husband and I separated for 10 months 2 years ago. We were going through some stuff and we both thought it would be a good idea to have some time separate. I dated and he dated. He dated one woman in particular towards the 6 month portion of our separation. We would always keep in contact. One day during the separation he said he wanted to speak with me. He sat me down and told me that none of the other women ever compared to me and he's tired of these other women. He said he didn't want anyone else and he wanted to come home. I told him I didn't have much luck either and we decided over the weekend to start living together again. He had broken up with the woman and I guess she took it very hard. She would call him nonstop and he would repeatedly tell her that it didn't work out and that he wants her to leave him and his family alone. 2 years have gone by and she has gotten ridiculous. She always seems to "bump into us" at the store, restaurants and public places. We have changed our phone numbers and even gone to the police but they said that the only way they can issue a restraining order is if she makes physical contact. She calls and hangs up like a child. My husband actually yelled at her in the grocery store parking lot saying that she is insane and that she needs to get a life. I can understand his frustration, I'm to that point as well but I have a feeling we just encouraged her to act this way even more. I am at loss. What shoud I do? Move? I know this is a lot to read but I am seriously just losing sleep over this. I tried not to let her get to me but it's just dug at me so much. Some nights I just cry over this. She not only is a nusance but a constant reminder of a rough time in our marriage. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Mar. 14, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • GET a court order to make her stay away, as long as you are 100% sure he is not still communicating with her, it shouldn't be a big deal to get one after what you have described.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 8:07 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • I agree. It sounds like she is crossing the line into harassment.

    Answer by Ballad at 8:11 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • what state are you in and i will get you the info needed to force the authorities to protect you.

    Answer by feralxat at 8:24 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • California. We have filed civil complaints but we can't prove that it is her calling and hanging up. When we see her around she just stares at us and hangs around. The police officer told us that they can issue the restraining order if she assaults or "makes contact" with us.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:44 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Because he dated her, you're not covered by California's civil harassment law. But there may be options. Consult a lawyer. Do it tomorrow, first thing.


    Answer by gdiamante at 11:52 PM on Mar. 14, 2013

  • Wow she sounds psycho. I'm afraid for you and your husb. If you can afford to, move. It will be worth the cost. Change your number. Private message me and I can give you tips on how to do that for free. Next time she bumps into you, have a videocam or phone recorder rolling, recording your attempts to ask her to leave you alone and to show how persistent she is. This may also deter her from escalating her tactics. Install light sensors and noise alarms (cheap ones from homedepot you can self-install) around your house. If you catch her around your house, you could charge her as a peeping tom and with trespassing (make sure you have clear no trespassing signs in front of your home). Think of other ways you can catch her under other crimes. I really feel for you. I'm dealing with the same except with a psycho nosey sister.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:41 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Change youi phone number and any time you "run into her" ignore her. Look straight through her as if she weren't there.

    I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It must be very stressful.

    Answer by winterglow at 4:47 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

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