Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

He has been gone all day!

I made a post a week ago about my husband not communicating with me about going to visit his cousin an hour away and staying there all night and he didn't tell me he was staying over night. Well he has done it again. Except he did tell me he was going there again. He has been gone since this morning after he dropped the kids off at school and here it is 1 am and he is not home. He told me he was coming home tonight. I feel like this is coming a terrible habit.

 How do I tell him that I don't think he should be staying out all night without sounding nagging or bitchy? I don't want him to think I don't want him to be able to visit family.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 AM on Mar. 15, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Have you tried calling him while he's there on his cousin's landline? Are you sure he's there?

    Answer by winterglow at 4:44 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Of couse he should be able to visit family but he should also tell his wife that he is going to do so. It's a question of common decency and respect.

    Answer by winterglow at 4:45 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • sorry- my dh has done this a few times also but i always call to make sure he wasnt in a wreck on the way home

    Answer by jessica1078 at 5:21 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Maybe suggest that the family take turns coming to see him once in awhile, instead of him spending almost 24 hr straight being away from you and the kids........again
    I think this new habit is ridiculous

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:02 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Sounds like he is going to do what he wants. So you need to start doing what you want. Do not be their for him. Start doing the same thing back at him. Make him see how it feels.

    Example... One saturday, you need to run errands, Just grab the car key and leave. As in leave him with the kids at home. 


    Answer by louise2 at 7:03 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Tell him that it makes you uncomfortable when he isn't there. That you feel safe with him there.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:21 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Tell him that when he is out like that and doesn't at least check in, that you worry about him

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 7:42 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Is this a new thing? Is he drinking when he is there? I wouldn't have a problem if he spent the night somewhere instead of Drinking and driving, what is unacceptable is not to tell you and to do it often. I think if you did the same thing, he would be livid. I think when he comes home it is time for a very long talk. I wouldn't get mad and yell, just say that is makes you feel very worried, and it isn't fair for you to be up all night worrying something has happened. He is an adult and he needs to act like one! Sorry momma!

    Answer by jerseydiva at 7:49 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • is he out of work? Is he spending all of his free time with his family?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:54 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • I wonder too about his job? When does he go to work? Maybe you and the children can go with him too, the Cousin is family too.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:08 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Sick and tired of this.

Next question overall (Pets)
Got a puppy!