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2 Bumps

What do I do???

I had to call 911 because my husband tried overdosing on sleeping pills....found out he has been cheating on me....and we have a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old....I know it's easy to say dump him but no one wants to see their family fall apart....do we get counseling, do I just say eff u and move on??? He's on a hold at the hospital on suicide watch.....we've been together for 14 yrs and have been in utter financial turmoil for a couple yrs....I just would like some input and please don't be nasty.....I'm under enough stress right now....thanks ladies

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Mar. 15, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • I'm sorry. He needs therapy because of the suicide attempt. You need therapy too on your own, you have two young kids and you have serious decisions to make. I wouldn't rush to any decision.  Take your time, get your own life on straight first.  How can you improve the financial situation for you and your kids?  This would be first for me.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 10:33 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • I'm sorry this is going on in your life. My advice is to make sure he leaves the hospital with an appointment for therapy and get some counselling for yourself as well. You don't have to decide anything now. Just make sure that you and your children are in a safe stable environment and work up from there. GL
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 10:37 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Marriage counselling is worth the effort. I wouldn't bail on someone who is so depressed that he tried to end it all, not without trying everything in my power.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 10:38 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • You need support, and I'm sorry, he's the one who did something wrong, it's not your responsibility to take care of him. It's his responsibility to man up and be accountable for his behavior, and personally I think that a suicide attempt is a way of not being accountable, and trying to make you feel sorry for him when he did something so hurtful and wrong to you.

    That being said. IF YOU LOVE HIM and still want to make it work, I'd get marriage counseling. If you don't think you can forgive him, or don't want to be with him anymore, your only responsibility now is to take care of your children and yourself.

    He made the choice to cheat, he made the choice to attempt suicide. He needs to be responsible for those choices...not you.

    Get help to move on if necessary, but put your children and yourself first. Your children need at least one healthy adult parent, and clearly it's not him.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:46 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Sorry I say fuck him and move on. It isn't your fault or responsibility to take care of him.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 10:50 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • ohwrite, I couldn't have said it better! Hugs OP! He's an ass doing that to you!
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 10:52 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • @winterglow, he was caught cheating, he "attempted" suicide so OP would feel sorry for him!
    I call BS on his actions!
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 10:55 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • I've been married to a cheater. In this situation, my suggestion to you is this: Put aside the suicide attempt. Pretend that didn't happen. Without the suicide attempt, you've found out he's cheating - what do you want to do? Do you want to stay and try to work it out or do you want to leave him and get a divorce? If you would leave and get a divorce, then do not let his suicide attempt stop you from doing what you feel is best for you and your children. Make sure he gets the help he needs, for the sake of your children (so they still have a father, and so that if something happens, you can honestly tell them you tried to help him), but don't stay because he tried to kill himself and now you feel guilty, responsible, or as though you must stay to prevent him from doing so again.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:28 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • Yes. Get yourself out of there while he is away.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 11:43 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

  • This is a mess. Do you think he's truly been depressed for the last couple of years & that's why he cheated? Or do you feel like this "attempt" is to manipulate you to stay? Can you forgive him? Do you think being around him is in the best interest of your children? Really only you can answer those.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 11:51 AM on Mar. 15, 2013

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