The idea of "enthusiastic consent" to sex is that silence is not consent, never has been and never will be. If you dont have enthusiastic consent, you don't have consent at all, and you shouldn't go forward. Consent is not simply the absence of a verbal 'no' or some form of physical resistance.
I was reading an article about a rape case in Ohio where the defense tried to say that because the victim, who was drunk and unresponsive at the time, didn't verbally say no to the assaults, she consented to what happened to her. That defense is nothing worse than despicable.
But while the idea of enthusiastic consent would be awesome in an ideal world, I'm wondering about those of us who probably would very rarely have sex if the requirement were to say yes with enthusiasm, instead of talking ourselves into dealing with it because we love our partners and know their needs. The idea of enthusiastic consent is a definite step forward in challenging the "rape culture" we live in. Obviously silence is not consent, but where's the line to be drawn? Putting up with sex because you know your partner wants it isn't rape, but where's the line to be drawn? What about that Anon post from a while back where the woman asked any of us if we ever mentally or emotionally left our bodies during sex so we wouldn't have to deal with it?
I'm just interested in different points of view.
Answer by DusterMommy at 5:42 AM on Mar. 17, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 5:38 PM on Mar. 16, 2013
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:46 AM on Mar. 17, 2013
Answer by staciandababy at 6:18 PM on Mar. 16, 2013
Answer by 29again at 1:09 PM on Mar. 17, 2013
This is why teenagers shouldn't drink alcohol. Common sense (not that teens have much of that to begin with - lol :p) goes out the window when they are drinking. Now one poor girl is scarred for life & 2 young boys are labeled for life. The defense was grabbing at straws to try to save his clients' asses. And they lost, rightly so. As for enthusiastic consent, I feel bad for the ladies out there who aren't enthused enough to say "YES" to their partners like they really mean it! :/
Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:15 PM on Mar. 18, 2013
Answer by m-avi at 6:59 PM on Mar. 16, 2013
It does seem reasonable that if the person was not responding back favorably, that would indicate a lack of enthusiastic consent.
Answer by musicmaker at 7:11 PM on Mar. 16, 2013
Well I can see where that can come into play I had a boyfriend not that I considered him a boyfriend, in high school and the first two times sex happened I specifically said no several times and he just pushed himself on me. I was so scared I didn't say anything to anyone. I wish I had,I tried to break up with him, of course as you can tell he was abusive. After I while I quite fighting him because their was no point, he was going to do it any way. I was so young and stupid and had very little self-esteem. Thanks to my family I was able to get away from that monster. But they never knew the truth about what really went on, I hid it for years because I was ashamed and embarrassed. So anyway I can easily see how someone who feels pressured into sex would feel raped or is drugged would feel violated.
Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Mar. 16, 2013
Answer by Dardenella at 1:56 AM on Mar. 17, 2013