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Our daughter, 16 next week, STILL stomps, slams, huffs and cries when we say something she doesn't like. When can we expect her to outgrow this behavior?

She is adopted. Her older sister had major behavior problems.

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Asked by shanzelka at 9:57 PM on Mar. 16, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • LOL, I still do that.... I'm 40 something. It's a girl thang!

    Answer by m-avi at 10:00 PM on Mar. 16, 2013

  • At 16 she isn't going to "outgrow" this behavior.

    Answer by kmath at 10:04 PM on Mar. 16, 2013

  • the growing out of that age is over.. my 5 year old hardly does that.. maybe you could get her some counselling?


    Answer by chrstny88 at 10:07 PM on Mar. 16, 2013

  • Maybe when se has her own children. Than was not my gig but it was my daughter's. I am thinking she started getting better when she moved out of the house lol.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:08 PM on Mar. 16, 2013

  • I was thinking this was behavior that was normal in younger kids and was afraid that if it wasn't outgrown by now it wasn't going to be. Thanks everyone.

    Comment by shanzelka (original poster) at 10:30 PM on Mar. 16, 2013

  • my son is 16 ad still has those days...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:33 PM on Mar. 16, 2013

  • Could be hormones. Could be copying her older sister. Could be she gets attention for the negative behaviors, so they're paying off for her. Good luck!

    Answer by Ballad at 10:38 PM on Mar. 16, 2013

  • 15 and 16 were the worst ages for my son. He started becoming human again at 17.


    Answer by musicmaker at 1:18 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • She does it because it works still. To get what she wants. If it didn't work she wouldn't do it.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:06 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • It's entirely possible for kids to do that even when it doesn't "work" to get them what they want. I wouldn't assume anything about that based SOLELY on the fact that she "still" shows her upset in that way, because it's NOT always about engaging in behavior because it gets "rewarded."
    Stomping, slamming her door, huffing & crying is more about expressing upset around very challenging emotions, like disappointment, frustration, loss/grief, powerlessness. It reflects an internal process that is an unavoidable part or reaching resolution: giving up a desire, accepting futility, grieving the loss, moving on.
    When this process was recognized & allowed in childhood, a person is more likely to "mature" in her processing. Ultimately she may only express anything outwardly (this could be a "minor" expression, just verbal or whatever) in times of "significant" disappointment or frustration, which is exactly what's true for many adults.

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:20 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

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