Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

A friend asked a question: Don't know,how to answer.. Advice needed. (About an affair & birth certificate.) adult content

If your married & have an affair,become pregnant.. Does your,husband automatically get added on the birth certificate or is it,whoever you tell the hospital is the babies father?
What is the correct legal steps,in a situation like this?.. since,she wants to do what is best..She knows,she made a mistake but now it's about the baby.
Thank you,for helping.. I was at a loss,on what information to provide her.
Please only constructive advice & no bashing,thank you.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Mar. 16, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • She will want to consult with an attorney anyhow since in many states the bio father can prohibit her from moving far away so that he can have his visitation (common visitation is every other weekend and one night a week for dinner). She needs to know what her rights are, what his rights are and what his responsibilities are (and hers as well).

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:25 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • Legally the child is your husband's unless parentage is contested. Then a DNA test would be ordered.

    You do not say if the husband knows about the affair or if the other man hasexpressed a esre for his child. That would make a big difference.

    If she has not come clean with her husband. she should so that all this can be setteled ASAP

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:30 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • Depends on the state. She needs to call an attorney and ask. She can also leave the father's name off the bc completely. My ex swore my youngest dd wasn't his (she is) but the attorney in CS court said he didn't care what he thought, if we were legally married then she was legally his! Sometimes the hospital registry office can tell you what the state laws are. I'd be calling around and getting the right answers for your area from people who are experts in the field.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:40 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • Biological father would most likely be printed on the certificate. The birth certificate isn't mean to address custody, only biological information. This doesn't mean that both can't be fathers. However, that is a separate legal issue. It won't change the birth certificate. It's the same as if the biological father walked out and the step-dad steps up to be the father. The biological father is still listed on the birth certificate no matter what even if another person is the father legally. I would recommend that all people involved get mediation to draw up a custodial and responsibilities agreement.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 5:03 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • If the father's name is left off the certificate intentionally, it won't matter still because only biological paternity is what is listed on a birth certificate, not legal custody. Those are two separate matters. You would have to file papers to add the name or change the birth certificate, so knowing paternity doesn't automatically change the certificate either.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 5:07 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • Most states if you are married. The DH goes on the BC.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:03 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • You fill out the paperwork at the hospital. You can put whoever you want.

    Answer by staciandababy at 7:20 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • No one automatically gets put on the birth certificate, the mom has to put who ever the dad is on there. My sister was separated with her husband for years and get pregnant by another man. they wouldnt allow the bio father to be put on there bc she was married to the other man. they told her the only way the dad could be put on there is if they do a dna just bc she was married to someone else. Also if she doesnt want the affair man to be on there and wants the husband to claim the child she doesnt have to do a dna bc she is married and she can put him on there no matter who the kid belongs to.


    Answer by chrstny88 at 8:27 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • Tell her to leave it blank.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:48 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

  • staci that is not true.. if your married they will not allow you to put another mans name on there unless a dna test proves the other man is the father. if she doesnt get a dna test then her choices are her husband or not putting a dad on there.

    Answer by chrstny88 at 9:12 AM on Mar. 17, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.