I was young & skinny when dh & I got together, & I had a lot of male friends, & got a little attention from other males. I never encouraged it, flirted, or did anything sideways, but dh was very jealous. I quit smoking for awhile & gained some weight, had my 2nd & 3rd child & gained a bit more, & of course got older, & the attention faded from other males, as did dh's jealousy.
Unfortunetly around that time he went through like a pre-mid-life crisis, & went on a flirting rampage w/ a bunch of other women, I found a phone # in his wallet from a chick he'd met at work & been talking to, & we had internet related issues as well as lying issues. I would tell him how much it hurt me & ask him to stop, but he'd just tell me that I was jealous & trying to control his life. We fought constantly & almost got a divorce.
Around that time I found out I was preg. w/ #4, & had some major health issues, that ended up making us stronger. He chilled out, I worked on my jealousy issues & things were great between us. Then recently we both got jobs. His takes him out of state during the wk. & mine has me behind a bar. Lately he's been super insecure & has gotten it in his head that there is something going on w/ someone at work, or w/ our neighbor, who happens to be his best friend.
I've done everything I can to assure him that I would never cheat on him, especially w/ his bff, who is a self absorbed womanizer, that has a revolving door, w/ a diff. woman each wk. His bff had sent me a friend request on fb awhile back & dh told me to accept. I never posted on the guys wall & only liked a post that he'd put on my page & lol or whatever. I don't go over to the guy's house if we're both outside, just to visit, & only acknowledge him w/ a "hi" if he says hi 1st. And I only make small talk about the neighborhood, or weather etc. when we all go out.
Since dh started going through this insecure, jealous thing again, I deleted his bff from my fb & go out of my way to sit away from him when we're out, & avoid talking to him as much as poss. We all went out this past wknd. I had a friend who I hadn't seen since h.s. come out w/ us too. She, her hubby, & I were out in the smoking room talking & dh's bff came out & started talking about how when he & his b.m. were together they'd go out to the clubs & never dance w/ each other, only w/ other people, & how if I didn't back off my insecurities, & let dh dance & talk & hang out w/ other women I was going to lose him. I have no idea where this came from, we've always gotten along.. but he was being kind of a jerk. So I informed him that dh & feel the same about things. And reminded him that we had been at another event a few wks ago, & dh was the only male on the dance floor, & I didn't say a word, he was having fun, & wasn't doing anything inapropriate, so I didn't care.
Bff, kept talking crap, so I just told him that dh & I have been together for nearly 12 yrs, & he was entitled to his opinion, but that I really didn't need advice from him about relationships, & I walked out. Later I went out w/ my friend again & she & her hubby both informed me that after I left, dh's bff was talking about how he brings dates w/ him all the time, & I always try to run them off, because they want to dance w/ my dh, or spend most of the night talking to him. And I need to just chill or I'm gonna lose dh. This couldn't be farther from the truth! I'm always really nice to his dates. He'll ask dh & me, to not say "this", or to say "that", put in a good word for him, or afterwards, help him get rid of them, & we always help him out. I don't know where this hostility is coming from....
After the bar, we went to this other bar & grill to have another drink & get some food, & bff started talking crap again, & I'd had enough, so I tried to leave, & he said some smart comment about something, following it up w/ "Sweetie, I've got a new hot chick w/ me every night, when I want to" I told him "exactly, you're never gonna find anything meaningful w/ anyone, because you can't look past yourself"... And I tried to leave.
DH got mad at me, & said that our fight came out of nowhere, & he just knew that something was going on between me & bff... We got into a fight, slept in different rooms, & I woke up w/ my head spinning over what had happened.... Not only did he not stick up for me when his bff was being such a jerk to me in front of him, then he was talking to him & cool w/ him after that while I was leaving, but then he got mad at me....... He woke up this morning acting like nothing had happened telling me not to sweat the small stuff.... I dropped him off for work (won't see him till Fri.) & acted like everything was cool, but what am I supposed to do to reasure him that nothing is going on & how am I supposed to act toward his bff when dh brings him out w/ us next time? I can't stand the guy now.....
Answer by m-avi at 7:57 PM on Mar. 17, 2013
Answer by louise2 at 8:22 PM on Mar. 17, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 8:33 PM on Mar. 17, 2013
Answer by gdiamante at 8:39 PM on Mar. 17, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 11:19 AM on Mar. 18, 2013