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How can I try to get my dh to eat healthier and exercise??

He just turned 46 in December. He is 6' 5'" and almost 300 pounds. He has a history of heart attacks and heart disease is his family. He will eat dinner and then turn around 30 minutes later and eat almost a whole bag of chips. I have changed my eating habits, completely quit drinking sodas and started exercising. I feel so much better. I have lost 35 pounds , still have 20 more to lose though, uggghhh. Anyway, I would love for him to feel as great as I do and for us to be able to exercise together. I just don't know how to bring this up without it going wrong in so many ways. Any advice??

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RelaxedMom2-3

Asked by RelaxedMom2-3 at 10:09 AM on Mar. 18, 2013 in Diet & Fitness

Level 21 (12,196 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Tell him you want him to be around for the kids graduations, weddings, grand kids and that you want to grow old with him. Offer to go to weight watchers with him (he may need more direction than you do) - but phrase it like you are asking him to do it with you. Don't make it about him, make it about you and the kids
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:17 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • Well, besides just not buying the stuff that you don't want him to eat, I don't know how to suggest getting around an uncomfortable discussion. I agree with missanc though, by telling him you want him to be healthy so you can both experience the future together. Nobody wants to bury their spouse (well, most of us don't) and have to start over alone.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:29 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • It's great that you want to be healthier, but he doesn't sound like he's reached that point yet. Unfortunately there isn't a way to make someone do something they have no interest in doing. Weight loss can be a lot of work, and if you're unmotivated it's just not going to happen. I would continue to set a good example, prepare healthy meals for your family, and maybe he'll see you doing better and want to do better as well.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:42 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • That's just it, I don't buy it. He buys "crap" and brings it into the house.
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Comment by RelaxedMom2-3 (original poster) at 10:43 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • Thanks ladies....
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Comment by RelaxedMom2-3 (original poster) at 10:45 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • Mine does that too. He's not that heavy, but he buys his own junk and brings it home. What sucks is that mine will complain about the junk food in the house (I will buy veggie chips for the kids and he sees that as junk as well), but then he turns around and brings chocolate and candy home. It's easy for me to resist that stuff, but not as easy for him. My DH works out though, so I think he feels like he can because of that.


    It sounds like the only thing that you can do is have that uncomfortable discussion. Maybe think of something to do that would require some weight loss on his behalf and then make a goal (zip lining, whitewater rafting, something active but fun)

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:49 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • Ugh, my ex was and is like that too. Just last year, he stopped by here and I had this very uncomfortable discussion with him. I told him I was worried because I know he likes to drink, gets very little rest, is a volunteer firefighter, and is overweight. I emphasized that he was getting older and that he needs to think about his health because of our children and grandchildren. I asked if he considered joining a gym because I know he used to enjoy working out. I keep tabs on him, as does my daughter..... You can't change a person that doesn't want to change though. Weight loss is a personal decision when it comes down to it.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:54 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • I'm SURE he knows he is overweight and unhealthy. This is something that each person has to decide on their own - like smoking
    Unless he has hit a point where HE wants to do it for himself, nothing you say is going to make a difference (at least not for long)

    Just keep up what you are doing, and maybe he will start to see how much better you feel and want that as well

    You cannot make anyone do something they are not ready/ willing to do
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:20 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • You can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. And you can talk to him about it until you're blue in the face, but if he's not ready to see it, then your face will be blue and he'll still be chomping away on chips.

    I see nothing wrong with bringing it up to him, but I would only do it once. I would tell him bluntly that you are worried about his health and his weight and you'd like to see him change. But then you just have to leave it alone and hope that he wants to change.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:34 AM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • For one he is tall and his weight sounds about right.

    Is he a heavy guy like obese wise?

    Doesn't he see your body changing and want that too?

    I wish you well and pray that he jumps on your band wagon soon. God Bless!
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 4:43 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

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