Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Do you think this is odd? I'm not sure how to take my new boss, what do YOU think?

I got a great new job in my field after many months of looking. I am well qualified and a good fit. Its an upper class law firm, I share a huge, high end office with my boss, she's abput my age. They tried a couple people in this position who didnt work out, you really need specific training. So its a temp-to-hire position, but after a few days I am definitely going to work out. So understandably, and thankfuklly, my boss has been friendly but definitely kept things at a very professional level. I prefer that; we share an office, shes my boss, a friendship would complicate our professional relationship and lead to problems. So I started last Wedsnesday. I went in this morning anf my boss had brought me a big bag of nice clothes and a pair of boots, these items had belonged to her sister who is my size. I find this an odd gesture; who brings clothes to a stranger unless they are homeless, victims of a housefire, or so poor they really need them? I have worn very nice dressclothes, just as nice as anyone elses. But I bought them at the thrift store. But you cant tell. I wore a pair of black boots, they arent brand new but they are beat up. She asked me, "Are those your favorite boots?" Obviously implying they are worn. And lo and behold if there wasnt a pair of boots in this bag. Now, I am conflicted, because these are really nice clothes, and theres the black dress pants I was wishing I had, and the white button up shirts....But it makes me feel bad. I mean, do I LOOK like a charity case? I must, why else would she do that? Who brings clothes to a stranger unless they look like a bum? Opinions please! I am so conflicted.... Thanks.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Mar. 18, 2013 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Well I know it's a bit odd and it surely has the potential to come across offensively, especially seeing you have just started there and don't have much of a repore established yet, but I do agree with what tessiedog said, especially if its as high-end as your saying, however I do think that she should have gone about it a different way, maybe had a conversation with you about it prior, before just bringing her sisters clothes in and just assuming you would want them, if she did that it probably would have eliminated any awkwardness, it not very tactful of her.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 2:35 AM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • I think you are over thinking this. DON'T! Just take it as a friendly gesture. It's a win-win situation. She had these clothes that for whatever reason her sister wasn't using and now she has you who could wear them. I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you or imply that you are a charity case.

    After a few weeks working with my co-worker, I learned she had a grandson slightly younger than my youngest child. I had a bunch of clothes my child had outgrown so I gave them to her. She saw it for what it was: me getting rid of unneeded clothes and her grandson getting different clothes. There were no hard feelings as it wasn't intended.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 6:31 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • I don't know. Maybe her sister really is your size, an she just thought you'd like to have the clothes. It might not be a reflection on you at all.

    Answer by Ballad at 6:32 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • I would take it in the spirit of kind heartedness, I doubt she meant it as an insult. She probably thought the clothes were in good condition and since you were about the same size, perhaps you would be interested in them. Frankly, she should have asked you first, before bringing them in, but you can always say no graciously.

    Answer by tasches at 6:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • I love getting free things, so I would just say thanks, pick out the ones I like and pass the rest on to charity.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • Image is part of the package at a law firm like this.
    I think you should not feel bad, but you should take the clothes because yours may be showing a little wear. In an upper class law firm you can't quite get away with wearing thrift store clothes, no matter how much you think no one can tell, they can tell. Wearing the same boots too much= not okay, etc.
    Obviously, your boss likes your work and wants you to fit in image wise. You are in her office and your attire is important to project an image of wealth and success to clients. Take her help and also keep an eye for sales in dept stores to beef up your wardrobe. You need to have variety and look just like everyone else in that upper class law firm.
    Congratulations on the job! and take it as a compliment that she wants you to succeed.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 6:38 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • Maybe she is busy, the clothes were getting in her way and she just thought "they will fit this girl" and offed them on you.

    Be grateful and don't over-think it!

    Answer by staciandababy at 7:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • I would offer stuff to someone in the office if I thought they would fit her as opposed to taking them to Goodwill or something! I wouldn't take it personally at all.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 6:47 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • **but they AREN''T beat up, I meant. (regarding the boots I wore)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:22 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

  • Thanks for answering. I know she had only kind intentions, and I do appreciate the clothes. Its just strange, you would bring stuff to your friend, though you would ask first. And I do really like them. I guess it just makes me feel sub-standard somehow, and Im already the odd one out, so it grates on me. Thanks!!!!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:40 PM on Mar. 18, 2013

Next question in Money & Work
Wtf- tax refund