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Am I overreacting?

Me and my SO lived 1300 miles apart for about 3 years and every holiday that I didnt spend with him or birthday or whatever he was pissed off, well I moved here in Sept 07 and last year was our first Valentines day together now again the ones before were a HUGE deal and he was mad cause he wanted to be with me on v-day, so last year he totally ditched me and had to go do something else it was work related but it was bad timing and it was the fact he never said hey did you have plans or want to do something cause I gotta do this, anyway so he did come home with a card and a movie and flowers which was nice but he was a ass when he got here and I had done the whole candles and rose petals on th ebed thing and he just went upstairs without me and wiped the petals over to my side of the bed and went to sleep so that was how wonderful our first v-day was together. Sooooo this year he never even acknowlaged it I didnt get a CONT

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Card or flowers or and I love you or sex or anything. Its not that im upset that i didnt get get gift cause thats not it I would have been totally happy with an I love you and decent sex. Anyways I got him a gift and he opened it the next morning and never said thanks or anything just walked out the door so I tried to talk to him about it last night and told him that this all botherd me and he just kept saying "so the f**k what!" Im just upset cause he says he loves me but refuses to say it to me. And he spends money at the bar buying everyone drinks and buying lunch for people and he recently spent 80 bucks on porn and probably about the same on strippers and I cant even get an f'ing card! I have no problem with porn or strippers but when he can do that and not do anything for me its gonna be a huge problem. Am I being too sensitve or am i right to be mad and hurt? i dont need bashing so dont answer if thats what ur doin!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • maybe he is cheating
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Not bashing in any way, but he doesn't sound like he was worth you moving 1300 miles. You have every right to be hurt and upset. From what you've described, he kinda sounds like an inconsiderate a$$.
    Question for you, are you sure you want to spend anymore time with someone that completely disregards you and spends money on strippers instead?
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 12:03 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Sounds like my husband. our first v-day all i got was a card and a kiss. the 2nd
    I got a ring tossed to me and this year I got nothing again, except this year i did't even get a card or "happy valentine's day' I leaned in to give him a kiss when he woke up, which i even let him sleep in, he wouldn't return it!!!! He thinks there shouldn't be a day designated to love, if you plan to be with someone you love for the rest of your life.
    monkeymom0703

    Answer by monkeymom0703 at 12:03 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • He sounds like a jerk. If he doens't like the pressure put on by Valentines day that's fine but to not acknowledge a gift or sincere romantic gesture from you is unacceptable. Are you sure he is the right one for you? Does he act this rude and nasty all year round? If he just doesn't like V-Day then that should be talked about between the two of you and then let it go. If he hadn't made such a big deal before y'all were able to live together this wouldn't seem so odd. I think you need to think about if this is what you want for the rest of your life.
    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 12:22 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I mean no disrespect, but I see the signs. He is abusing you. It is emotional abuse. Get out. You deserve better than that. That isn't love. I thought my first husband loved me, he treated me like that before we got married, once married the physical abuse started.......divorced from him now, though we have a daughter together, his abuse will ALWAYS be there. He still tries to control me, verbally abuses me, uses our daughter as a pawn of revenge.......anyway. He acted the same way as yours is acting. He also cheated on me several times throughout our marriage! That IS NOT LOVE! Run my dear, as fast as you can! It doesn't get any better and they never change. I am SO SORRY for you! Please have respect and honor for yourself more than to allow ANY man to treat you like this or talk to you like this! It is abuse and it will ONLY get worse!

    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 12:22 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • He's a loser- really, he is. Get rid of him because the other ladies are right, it's abuse and it will only get worse.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 12:25 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • You sound like a door mat telling your story. I am sure you want to be a strong independant woman worthy and expectant of respect??? Ditch this guy like last years roses and get on with a productive, happy life. Life's too short to waste it on an idiot. He's a selfish, dick head.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Why are you with a man who treats you with such disregard. Surely you can do better. Peopl can only treat you the way you let them.
    NorahSethsMommy

    Answer by NorahSethsMommy at 1:26 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • My hubby and his friends always do good when it comes to V-day...mostly because they made up their own Valentines day. It is a month after Valentine's day so March 14th and it's called Steak and a blow job day! Obviously they get a steak and a bj if anyone couldn't catch on by the day's name! So tell your man next year you expect a good day and a month later if he does what he's supposed to you will return the favor to him!

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 2:34 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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