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Relationship advice...

Ive been dating someone for 1.5 years, i have a son from a previous marriage. we have just been not getting along lately. we are both 25, he acts immature at times. i think in my eyes he's too hard on my son. he says i just baby him. Im close with his family, we hang out with them usually at least once a week. i thought they accepted me and my son as their own family. but i help throw a 50th bday party for his dad a week or so ago. i helped plan the date, time, location, food, decorations etc. bc i thought i'm part of the family thats the least i can do. his sister had come up to me at one point in the night and said she wanted a family pic one w- me one w-o. i said ok. later, she asked me to come take the pic of them 4 then walked away. my bf didn't say anything. i was very hurt. bc of course i thot i was family..guessed wrong. anyways..no one seems to think i have a right to be upset, i'm overreacting etc. Would you be upset?

Answer Question
 
Ambie0526

Asked by Ambie0526 at 2:45 PM on Mar. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,562 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • It's a fine line. A year and a half isn't a long time, but if you're close with the family, I could see how you would feel hurt.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:49 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • not really, but i hate when other people take my picture anyway. im sure they didnt mean to exclude you or be offensive about it.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 2:49 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Red flags went up when you said that he is too hard on your son & that he thinks you baby him. It's obvious from his sisters actions, and his lack of them, that they aren't so sure it will last either & that's why they want a pic that's free of you being in it. Sorry to say, but I think 1 1/2 years of your young life is enough to spend with someone who's critical of your parenting & trying to go against how you feel you need to parent your child. Cut your losses & look out for that little boy. Sorry. But that's what I'd tell my own kids in the same situation. GL!

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:50 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • You had me at him being immature and the two of you not getting along. Maybe give him some time and space to grow up. In the mean time, don't close doors to other possibilities.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:00 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Well in case you don't make it to wife status, they want a picture of the family without you, I don't think you should be offended, this was a 50th anniversary party, not a random birthday, so I wouldn't feel slighted by that. When you say he is hard on your son, as in how? Does he spank him, do you all live together? Where is the bio-dad. I think you need to have a very long talk about what you and he expect from a relationship, and maybe some counseling is in order, to see what is going on with your boyfriend and your kid. Having been a step-mom myself, I think you should be the one to make the choices on how your child is punished, but if you are letting him run wild, then that is an issue, more please about how he treats your child.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 3:12 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Move on ASAP. If he's hard on your Son now, if you get married he'll be a SOB.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:14 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Yes I would be offended, who cares if you are just a girlfriend. They think enough of you to have you help but exclude you from photos? RUN while you can. My husbands family is this way and 8 years and they haven't changed.
    txnmomof4

    Answer by txnmomof4 at 3:52 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • My son likes to have a blanket, he's 2.5, he thinks its time to get rid of it. I hadn't even begun to think about that. I run my own daycare so he's with me alot. I think I just baby him, I don't make him finish meals, and rarely do time-outs. I usually just say no and leave it at that. Lol. I'm not very good at being a strict parent, so it's probably a good thing. I really dont think his family did it on purpose, but it just hurts that I was a completely missed thought in being in the family picture. But unfortunately whining to my bf about how hurt I am, or even talking to his family about it isn't going to change the picture. An apology would maybe help, but could also make things awkward. Thanks for your help.
    Ambie0526

    Comment by Ambie0526 (original poster) at 7:28 AM on Mar. 20, 2013

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