Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


I know I asked 4 it but here it goes.My dh & I r having problems.He believes he knows everything, the computer goes over me & sometimes the baby.He shows no affection & we have talked about divorce 4 awhile. My neighbor showed major interest in me.His wife is crazy..she beats the kids, she can not handle anything, she miss treats him, she has multiple personalties & bipolar. I really wasn't interested. But, when he kissed me one night, I felt right.So we started "seeing" each other.More a less we would kiss & we talked.Which was the best, he would come over just to hold my hand and watch tv. He told me he loved me, which catch me by surprise.I told him I cared, but I wasn't ready for that & I wasn't ready for sex.Though I went down south for him twice.He wanted for me, but I wouldn't let him.Now she is on her manic side, I haven't seen him in that way,what do I do? I feel hurt and used....but can't stop thinking about him.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Its a bad situation now, but it can get better... I've been there: my husband and I had such major problems I was absolutely 100% going to leave him as soon as I had saved up the money. I got involved with another man and I cheated, but I thought for sure I was leaving my husband, so I didn't think anything about it. I fell "in love" with the other man and we were going to build a life together, but I started thinking if he cheated on his live in girlfriend with me, how could I be certain he'd never cheat on me? I already had one screwed up relationship, I didn't want another. It was hard, but I cut it off with the other man - a man I've known since we were 8 yrs old btw, and focused on my marriage, determined to see it out good or bad. My marriage is wonderful now, but only because we BOTH changed. Look into counseling and work together, otherwise it might be over. But concentrate on one relationship at a time.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 12:23 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Sounds like you need a divorce and to think HARD about getting involved with anyone right now...take your time, thing will happen when and IF they are supposed to

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think what you are doing is wrong. You guys may have problems but how would you feel if your husband was cheating on you? It just isn't right and it isn't fair. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to see other people in that way, you need a divorce. Cheating isn't going to solve your problems.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • You shouldn't turn outside of your marriage to solve problems. You turn to your husband. After you try everything to repair your marriage and it doesn't work, then you divorce and start seeing others. And not with a married man, no matter how crazy his wife is or what kind of boo-hoo story he gives.
    A married man willing to mess around with you is USING you.
    Since you haven't been seeing him lately, what you do is try to repair your marriage and say away from another man.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 12:11 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • For one, you committed adultery in your marriage. You betrayed another women by "going south on him", which IS having sex. It is one of the most intimate acts of sex. Kissing him, holding hands with him, giving yourself emotionally to another man is CHEATING!! Secondly, would you be alright with your husband doing what you are doing? Thirdly, DIVORCE. You betrayed your marriage vows. You can justify it all you want, his wife is a loon, you and your hubby were having problems....yada yada, call it what it is.....cheating! Lastly, you reap what you sow, what goes around comes around. You are knowingly hurting another woman, your husband and your children. It's selfish and heartless, imho.


    Answer by blessed5x at 12:13 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • You are falling hard for him. Don't fall in love with him. He is just using you . the wife has major issues. Pm me if you want to talk.

    Answer by jareda69 at 12:31 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • You 'went south' on him? There's a reason it's called oral sex, IT'S SEX. So you cheated. Just great. I bet you feel better now, right? What is wrong with you? I'm sure this isn't the first time you have, won't be the last. It also sounds like you were having an emotional affair, which is cheating, too. Go ahead, try to make yourself feel better. I bet you can't. If you can't be faithful, get a divorce. You didn't just cheat on your husband, you cheated on your child. Children deserve better then that.

    Answer by Buffie95 at 12:35 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i'm sorry...but both are still married and that is called infidelity is all shapes and sizes, no matter how you look at it, you are cheating on your husband and he is cheating on his wife. try to put yourself in his wife's shoes and ask yourself how you would feel even with all the problems that you have. and ask him to do the same thing about your husband. you two need to stop. or you two need to get divorced with your spouse and then get together...but please...not like this.

    Answer by rgie_wermager at 1:37 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i know it is cheating... btw this is the 1st time and the last . a lot of good points were brought up. i guess- i am can i move on? what i did is intolerable! i believed his lies, i guess because i wasn't getting what i thought was the love i deserved. how do i move forward

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • How do you move forward. First off, you should really consider counseling for yourself. Also, it may be wise to talk to your husband and try to repair your marriage. And until you are in a better place, emotionally, (whether that be divorced or have repaired your marriage) you should stay away from the man you had the affair with. That's a start. I'm sure there are other women that have more helpful advice.


    Answer by nwdeserangel at 2:13 PM on Feb. 16, 2009