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Do you ever feel like your SO would choose his friend over his family?

Ok, so I have to explain the situation; I work early on Sundays, I'm 6 months pregnant and we have a 3 yr old and my SO works graves sun-wed so I don't see him until Thursday nights. Lately all he wants to do is hang out with his friends. Every weekend we've been going to friends houses or going out with a group of friends to do whatever. This will be the 4th week in a row we'll have gone out for friends, every time I suggest we stay home I get "the sigh" or the disappointed look like I just burst his bubbles. I'm exhausted keeping up with our 3 yr old through the week and working, and on top of that I can always expect to be going out with our friends and staying out late and asking my parents if they'll keep my DS for a few hours or overnight. I can't keep taking Sundays off so what he suggests is, just hang out until 10 then come home and put our DS to bed and he'll get a ride home and be back by midnight (which I'll be asleep by then for work the next day). I just want to spend time with him and I get so upset I cry because I can't justify why I don't want him to go out, its not a good enough reason I guess. Anyone have some advice for me? Should I get over it or ...? I know its a pretty long story, sorry

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Asked by mandi_m at 10:14 PM on Mar. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Level 7 (168 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • He should man/grow up. Its perfectly fine to hang out with friends sometimes but he chose to have a family so he needs to be there for youand his children, not out with friends all weekend like he's 16.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 10:18 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Or maybe that's the problem? How old is he?

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 10:20 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Lol he'll actually be 30 in July. And all our friends are my age 25/26. I got so upset I told him to just go and get it out of his system because he can't do this forever and when they start having kids the partying will stop. He told me he wouldn't go cause I was throwing a fit (this was sunday night), then tonight he tried to justify why he's going (because its a friends bday party, yeah I know it is but still..) and I just feel like this is a lose lose situation. I'll lose one way because he'll get his way and get to go out and party while I can't, then I'll lose agan the other way because if I tell him I'd rather him be home he'd throw and fit and be texting his good friend throughout the night getting updates on whats going on. He says this will be one of the last times he'll get to go out because the baby will be here soon and he'll be home after that.

    Comment by mandi_m (original poster) at 10:28 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • I think you already know the answer to this.

    Answer by m-avi at 10:31 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • He already has one kid, if he hasn't stopped yet why would another kid make him do it?

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 10:38 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • I just want to be able to give him a look and he won't care and he'll stay home with me without throwing a fit. I just want to spend time with him! But I know thats not how this will play out. I guess I'll have to go find some big girl panties and suck it up. I just want to be done with these stupid child games with him. Everything has to be party hardy with him and I HATE it! I wouldn't have had kids with him yet if I would've known this was how it was going to be. But I love my DS and I'm happy to be having another don't get me wrong, its just frustrating being with a man child sometimes. I want him to be there for me always and I feel I get whatevers leftover after sports and friends.

    Comment by mandi_m (original poster) at 10:44 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Look, they either do it or they don't. You CAN'T make anyone do anything and if you do, there are regrets. You don't want that. You want to decide (knowing what you do) how you will proceed. That's it. No making anyone do anything.

    Answer by m-avi at 10:56 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Yeah I've told him we'll be going and I'll be leaving at 10. He doesn't seem to feel bad about it so I'm just letting the situation b. If he feels bad he'll come home with me or decide to not go at all. But its all on him now. I'll be letting him know it is not ok to keep doing this every weekend and if he doesn't want to listen then I'm out of the game and done. I can't keep feeling like the odd one out every time. Especially when we have kids. I want to have fun too! I'm 25 and I already feel like I should be 40 because I have to let those party days go, at least until the little one gets older, but I can never just let loose and get wild like my friends anymore. Because I. have. a. child!

    Comment by mandi_m (original poster) at 11:16 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Anyways, thanks for letting me vent. I don't know what I'd do if i didn't have other women and moms to talk to about this kind of stuff besides my mom or cousin and it doesn't ever really feel good to vent to them, they judge. haha

    Comment by mandi_m (original poster) at 11:18 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Well I hope he grows up after this kid, for your sake. I'll be rooting for you.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 11:39 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

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