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My son has aspergers and takes medication for ADHD. He is 13 years old and he wants to have alone time... alot.

Is it normal for him to want to be left alone? I feel guilty and don't want to push him. His dad and I are divorced and he forces our son to be a part of the family all the time. When our son comes and stays with me he relishes in his "alone" time.

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luvnfreedom

Asked by luvnfreedom at 11:26 PM on Mar. 19, 2013 in Kids' Health

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think that's normal for teenage boys. Its definitely normal for teenage girls! I don't think I said 2 words to my parents from about 13-16 lol. My headphones were always glued into my ears.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 11:29 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • give him space for sure, normal, hormones, lots going on : D
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 11:32 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • is there a reason why you and or his docs think alone time would be detrimental?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 11:41 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • It's hard to explain. My ex thinks I don't spend enough time with him and accuses me of leaving him in his room, alone. My son relishes in this alone time and doesn't get it at his dads. He plays cards, reads or watches tv. I honestly do spend a lot of time wit him but he just loves to have his alone time. I am confused by what his dad says. I agree with all of your comments... he does need his space and he's a teenager. Since he has aspergers, I thought maybe it was detrimental to his well being to allow him to spend too much time alone in his room.
    luvnfreedom

    Comment by luvnfreedom (original poster) at 11:58 PM on Mar. 19, 2013

  • Best to talk to the boy. Do you sit down to dinner together? Do you just go on a walk and talk? While it is good for him to regroup and relax, you might need to be proactive and keep yourself a major part of his life. You are right to question - don't let him retreat too far into his own world. It is a delicate balance.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 12:13 AM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • Thanks tasche! We do eat dinner together and we do actvities together. He loves to shoot "hoops' (basketball) and being outside when it's nice. I don't want him to retreat too much and you are right... it's a delicate balance. I guess I am feeling guilty for letting him decide how much time he wants. I feel he needs it, just like anyone needs their space but I think I need to be more proactive and get him out of his room more. Thanks for everyone's comments!!
    luvnfreedom

    Comment by luvnfreedom (original poster) at 12:18 AM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • Introverts, Aspergers or not, need alone time.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 6:58 AM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • I like my alone time and I'm fairly normal.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:16 AM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • You spend some time with him? You talk to him? You know what's going on in his life? If you can say yes to those, then I don't see the problem with him spending time alone. I loved spending time alone in my room when I was a teen. I had a stereo, TV, and all my books.

    My boys have ADHD. Yes, it makes them high energy, but they can still appreciate time alone. I don't believe Aspergers would be cause for concern about him being alone. Unless there's something else that would make you concerned about him (being suicidal, drug use, sneaking out, etc.), I say you're fine and just ignore his dad.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:30 AM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • My teen son has aspergers, and he too loves to have his 'alone time'. I know that he does get overwhelmed when around people, especially if it includes doing a lot of different activities. He needs time to himself to calm down, and get his inner peace back. If he does not get some quiet alone time, then it can trigger a meltdown of epic proportions.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:44 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

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