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2 Bumps

Is this normal?

My daughter will be 19 months on the 26th, and for the past 6 months or so, she is in the habit of hitting herself and/or pulling her hair out. She does it sometimes when she is mad, upset, when I tell her no not to do something or no not to get into something, and sometimes she does it and starts laughing like its funny and like she is trying to get me to laugh.

Is this normal child behavior?

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Asked by senior2009 at 7:19 PM on Mar. 20, 2013 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (75 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Well I really think you should discuss wth your Dr. since your dd is 19 months old & still acting like this
    My son used to be a head banger. It scared us alot. He would always do it when he was mad or trying to get out attention for what ever reason, He give himself bruises. The dr. said it is a phase it will pass & very common. I had to believe & not thik the worst. I would speak to your Dr. if she isn't settling down from it.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 7:58 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • She does the head banging and stuff too.. not as much as the other stuff, but she thinks it is funny to head but and she has already cracked my nose from it. she will hit her head against the wall... etc for whatever reason... I asked her dr about it but all they tell me is that it is normal and it is nothing to worry about

    Comment by senior2009 (original poster) at 8:02 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • I think my don started at 10 months old and he did it for like 6-7 months, I was freaked out. I thought something was wrong but he just stopped one day. Everytime we'd see him do it we'd make sure we'd go up to him and say NO! stop doing that, and stop him in the middle of trying too. The Dr. said to do this. I'd aske your Dr. again if it was recently really try to stop her right away when she does it give it a couple more months & watch her & stop her. This is all I can suggest.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 8:11 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • *son

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 8:12 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • since the timing is similar with their ages I wold really watch her now & be more stern on the NO & STOP IT followed by a hug, affection.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 8:13 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • does she communicate with words or pointing to objects that she wants
    does she stare at lights or ceiling fans
    does she prefer to play alone or does she seek out others to play with
    does she have odd obsessions, like lining up certain toys, or just play with cause and effect toys
    does she spin, or want to spin for what seems like forever

    mine started head banging at this age, she lost her words, lost eye contact etc
    she has autism

    my old ped blew my concerns off and he was wrong

    most likely nothing to worry about, but you could read up on subject of SPD/spectrum disorder/autism
    and maybe seek a 2nd opinion
    *** IF*** something like autism is developing, the earlier your child gets therapy the better off she will be

    again..most likely not anything, but keep your eyes open with knowledge


    Answer by fiatpax at 9:02 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • My Daughter is 19m now & never does that nor did my Son. Although every child is different, I would talk to the Pediatrician about it. Has he seen anything out of the ordinary during the exams? Sounds like she is frustrated. Is there something stressful going on in your home? Yelling? Upset? Is she sleeping enough? Other children causing her upset/anxiety? Are you high strung? These may all be the cause of her behavior.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:36 PM on Mar. 20, 2013

  • It is behavior that expresses frustration, so it is "normal" for a highly frustrated child.

    The things you describe as the triggers are what I would expect. My goal in response to this behavior (which I'd interpret as a signal of very high distress/frustration) would be to address the issue of the frustration she's carrying. I would want to improve things so she is not resorting to such extreme & concerning expressions of her feelings.
    Show your understanding of the feelings you know she's experiencing (when she's mad or upset as you mention) & convey your acceptance for those feelings. Be clear that there's nothing wrong with feeling that way, including in reaction to something you said/did! You can hold a limit (such as taking away something dangerous, or preventing her from damaging property or hurting you) without implying that she's wrong to express upset about the limit.
    Shifting HOW you correct/limit her also can help.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:19 AM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • The goal is to help her understand that it's permissible for her to express her frustration without targeting herself. If a child feels highly discouraged from other outlets, she will begin to "act out" her feelings against herself. Treat it as a signal of a need to create (explicitly) more safety for emotional expression, so she doesn't have to resort to hurting herself.
    As a companion to that, it's a good idea to reduce overall the amount of frustration she's experiencing. You can't (and don't need to) protect her from feeling frustrated. But you can avoid introducing more frustration than necessary, or adding to the natural frustrations of life. This is where shifting your approach to limits & corrections can help.
    You don't have to rely on No, Don't & Stop. If you're mindful to "connect before correct," you can connect by showing understanding for her reasons/motivation (the impulse & interest) when you limit her behavior.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:32 AM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • Making space for her expression of feelings (including strong ones!) that are the natural result of being limited & having her goals thwarted is the other piece.
    She gets into things you don't want her to. When you rely primarily on instructing her verbally, particularly with "Don't get into that" or "No, stop that," she's only experiencing resistance from you. It's a negation of her activity AND her purpose. If you recognize that she's doing it or drawn to it for good reasons (curiosity, the drive to learn, the will to develop her competence & independence, the desire to have fun, to enjoy life & herself), you can respond in a way that validates the impulse & recognizes it as good. You can connect with her & meet the same need (for mastery, fun, exploration) in a way that's more acceptable to you. When she's determined & WON'T be redirected, you keep her from getting into that stuff while accepting HOW UPSET she is!

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:42 AM on Mar. 21, 2013

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