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This is hard to ask since so tender of a subject...

Is there anyone out there willing to share their story of being adopted or placing their child up for adoption?I know every story is different but would love to know others feelings and how they got through it all.:)))Godbless

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (9)
  • People tend to bash here in the Q&A section so I would offer if you are interested to look for people's specific stories within the adoption focused groups here on CafeMom instead. Or, you could PM individuals who are willing to share their story as well. Unfortunately, you would think that here in the Q&A section that people who are willing to share their experiences would be free to do so (as that is what the section is for). But people who are passionate about helping others in like circumstances often get targeted and accused of :creating drama / seeking people to feel sorry for them / being negative/ etc. So if you are willing to lurk in some of the public adoption groups to get a feel for which members stories you are interested in hearing, there are many women who are open to do so. Thanks for your interest!
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 1:06 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • sad isn't it??? I have noticed though that most of the most vocal momma's are pro adoption ( it is much better than abortion ya know?) so i don't know that the bashing would carry through here..

    I have not adopted or given any child up for adoption but I know several people who were adopted. One thing that really bothers one friend of mine is that her Bio Mom kept the children after her and her brother- so I believe this made her wonder what she did wrong- She got adopted with her brother and feels so much gratitude to her adoptive mother for taking them in together.
    Another adopted child is a year or two older than me- 27? and as a child he seemed to think it was cool- as he grew it just didn't matter to him anymore- however when he got a girl pregnant in high school a guidance counselor had to tell the adoptive mother- he basically just began ignoring the girl and I guess hoping it'd go away. It depends on the person.
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 2:14 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • That's kind of what I have done in the past, starting with above poster (PortAngeles1969), who is an open book according to her personal statement, and you can get a gist of people's perspective's by reading their past journals (sometimes I feel like an invader, some are so brutally honest) and then looking at their chatterbox or friends, because people in similar situations tend to link up together which is a good thing. As you even read questions/posts, you'll start to notice some people who answer often and consistently the same, but 100 times, because 100 people ask the same questions at different times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • "As you even read questions/posts, you'll start to notice some people who answer often and consistently the same, but 100 times, because 100 people ask the same questions at different times."

    This is a REALLY good point! Perhaps those of us who try to answer peoples questions (that are repetitive or similar) are actually irritating people because of the repetition vs. who we are or what we are answering. I think it's really good practice to see if you can find a similar question/answer out there first too.
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 3:39 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I'll tell you my story if you want. I'm a bmom. Just pm me okay.
    chrissmom734

    Answer by chrissmom734 at 6:08 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Hi, I too am a firstmom(bmom to some), but am curious as to why you are requesting these stories, and if genuinely wish to learn, then why post ANON. I for one would be happy to tell you, if there was a genuine goal that would help someone, so feel free to PM me if you truly are interested in knowing,and wanting to do some good, but do so with the REAL you, not the ANON you. Blessings to you, we all have a need to learn,....C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 8:55 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I'm a birthmom.. you can PM and I'll send you the link to my journals.
    rainfalls

    Answer by rainfalls at 12:33 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • As an adoptive mom, I've been doing a lot of research. Overall, I feel that there is both positive and negative in every adoption.

    As a sister-in-law to a man who was placed for adoption 48 years ago, I've talked to my MIL who placed, and to him, and he is glad he was placed for adoption, and was raised by a terrific family, who even in death, he still adores.

    From all the people I've talked to in various forums, in person, and in support groups, the main thing I've found is that if an adoption is going to take place, that in my eyes, the adoptive and bio families need to meet, and to get to know each other more than superficially, so they'll know how the other feels, and so the adoption can take place, and that the openess of the adoption will be known. I get so angry reading answers about AP's not following open adoptions. When a mother places her child with trust, I think she ought to have that trust returned!
    sizesmith

    Answer by sizesmith at 9:37 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I'm a birth mother. You can read my story on my profile in my journals. It's in 6 parts. Here's a link to part 1. http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/136551/My_story_part_I

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 11:26 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

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