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ok..am i being unreasonable?

my dd wil be 15 2morrow. she just told me she has a new bf and that he is 17. my dd can't date, so why would he want a gf that can't date? im not too happy bout this but am i being unreasonable about the age difference? or should i just leave it alone and c where things go?

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busymom_38001

Asked by busymom_38001 at 12:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (32)
  • maybe he doesnt know. and 2 years is not a lot at all... i would let it go. TRUST your child...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • 2 years older isn't a lot, and while she isn't aloud to date persay, does she see him at school? A lot of times that is enough to sustain a high school relationship. Is she allowed to go out with a group of friends at least? If not, well, she is gonna be 15 and it may be time to rethink some of the dating rules...
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:36 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • idk im w/ u i dont trust any boys around my dd and she's only 3 but shes your daughter you know more than anyone if she can be trusted or not
    emtmommyamanda

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 12:39 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • 2 year is alot when your that age, just don't let her go anywhere with him where they will be without adult supervision. 17 year old boys are nearly at their peak of sexuality, so it is very likely that he will be trying things on her.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 12:39 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think youre being unreasonable. I had the same ideals and I figured out that the more you say no to something the more they want it as teens. My dd started dating her fiance almost 5 years ago when she was 15 (almost 16). She would sneak off to see him, lie to me etc. My best friend finally said do you want her sneaking around like an idiot or would you rather know whats going on? Youre putting her in a bad position and 15 & 17 isnt that bad as far as age wise. Set some ground rules. Tell her she can only see him at your house, family functions, and if you allow her to date he has tocome over ON HIS OWN and meet you so you can approve or disapprove.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:41 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • please don't listen to some of these people on here who say your being unreasonable because your not. Many people on here are teenagers or were pregnant when they were teenagers so of couse their going to side with your daughter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I never had a child when I was teenager and I think she is being unreasonable.

    You can be honest with your child and still trust them. I think trusting and allowing your daughter to explore and make her own decisions is a good thing. Also by doing so she will feel like she can come to you if there is a problem or just talk to you about things. That, imo, is crucial in preventing things getting out of hand, especially when it comes to sex etc.

    If you don't trust her you isolate her because she will be mad that you don't have any faith in her and think she is a bad person who can't make her own decisions. She will not be able to turn to you if she is struggling to come to a decision, or if she made a bad judgement because you have already isolated her.

    Your child is your child and you are there to guide and help...not run someones life.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 1:10 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think that if he is willing to date a 15 year old then he should be willing to go along with the rules of 15-year-old-dating. If your rules are that all time spend together should be chaperoned, then he needs to deal with it. If he sticks by her until she is 17, then he can date her abiding by a 17-year-old's rules. I think that the age difference shouldn't matter that much, and you can't help who your daughter decides to love. But, you are the parent and you can set the ground rules to keep the relationship appropriate.
    laadeedah

    Answer by laadeedah at 1:17 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I don't think that 15 and 17 is such a big age difference personally. They may not date but they do see each other at school and at that age that's a lot of what the bf/gf thing is all about. Also, not ALL 17yo's are out for sex, that's an unfair judgement on 17yo males.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Don't listen to people who tell you to just trust your daughter because she is a teenager and they do like to explore and also ther guy might pressure her into doing things that she does'nt quite feel ready for. She is still very young. Like I said before don't take advice from these teen mothers on here or ones that were pregnant as teenagers. I also woundn't take advice from parents who don't have teenagers yet. My daughter just turned 13 and some of the girls that she use to be friends with and their parents trust and are aloud to date are making out and giving oral sex in movie theaters and at parks. Some of their reputaions are ruined.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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