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2 Bumps

How happy are you being a married sahm?

I am a sahm but I do work part time a few days a week just to get a break and make some extr dough. My dh works a ton, and we don't have much time together, not even a full day ever. If he isn't at work, I am minus 2 nights a week. We rarely have help so we rarely date or have our own nights out. It seems a lot easier for dh to get out when he wants to though. He can leave work to go to sports events, appointments etc with no problem. If I want to do anything, I usually take the kids or just don't get to do anything. My dh doesn't get how hard it is to find people to help me even though I have told him. I feel like he has a lot more freedom than me and it honestly makes me feel lonely, jealous and resentful. Its taking its toll, but dh just tells me im being rediculous and unfair.

Does anyone else feel like they are taken for granted? Don't get me wrong I am glad to have the opportunity to be home with my babies (we really don't have an option) but sometimes I wish I was able to get more 'me' time, especially when I want it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Mar. 21, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Whine.
    If you are working even part time you arenot a SAHM.

    Why not go full time and hire a sitter.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • Pfft. I haven't left the house in at least a month.

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:00 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • We are abused Staci lol.

    Answer by Dardenella at 6:09 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • I am a SAHM and worked for 20 years before that. I guess being an older mom makes me appreciate all of the time I do get with my kids. I worked for the first 18 months of DD's life and it was really a lot harder than being at home for me and everyone else in the house. I do make sure that what time I do get on my own is well used for myself. I go to the gym twice a week when DD is preschool. That seems to keep me happy.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 6:12 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • there are times i hate it. i think its b/c i didnt have much was either stay home or pay to work (no job would have paid enough for daycare). but im lucky cause i have a car and mine are old enough now that its not a major pain in the ass to go somewhere with them. i get tired of not having adult conversations, but luckily im in school so i get 2 nights a week of social interactions with ppl my own age. i also get to sub once or twice a month which is a god-send. i find that im a better mom when i can get away from my kids haha. some ppl arent meant to be SAHMs and im slowly realizing that as important as i think it is (for us), im not cut out for it.

    sometimes ppl (like DHs) dont realize that being a SAHM isnt bonbons and TV watching, but it doesnt have to be a depressing either. what do you do when they are napping or sleeping at night? could you find me time then...thats when i take it (at home).

    Answer by okmanders at 6:54 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • I love it! I love having my kids with me, taking them to the library, hitting the playgrounds, etc. Would I love to spend a whole day shopping sans kids? Sounds nice but I know I would get bored and miss them!
    If you aren't happy you need to figure out what will make you happy and then make it happen.

    Answer by missanc at 7:04 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • Wow. I get on cm to find a supportive womens system and my first response is 'whine'. Amazing.

    And hire a baby sitter? That's cute. For what, 20 cents an hour? Yea I could maybe afford that.

    And the point is getting AWAY from my kids, OUT of my house to things I want to do. Sure, I can sit on the computer or waste time napping or watch a show, but im sick of that. 7 years of it and im going mental.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:27 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • No, I don't feel taken for granted. Just the opposite. I know my husband is working his ass off and has all the pressure and stress of supporting a family, and I have been lucky enough that he is willing to do all that to make it possible for me to stay home with the kids for the past 10 years. I try not to take him and all of his hard work for granted. I don't have any advice on getting "AWAY". I have never had a babysitter, and there is no one I would trust to watch my kids.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 8:16 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • I don't take his hard work for granted. But im sorry if u don't see being a mother hard work as well. I get everyone to their appointments, signed up for everythings, clothes, toys, good food, to and from friends and the library, cleaned up, beds changed, laundry, car troubles fixed, manage all the bills, make sure I still look fabulous and take care of my house and my man evey damn day. Don't tell me im not working hard. Tell me that shit isn't taken for granted.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:45 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

  • Don't tell me im not working hard. Tell me that shit isn't taken for granted.

    I didn't tell you that you are doing anything. You asked a question. I answered. I've been a stay at home mom for almost 11 years now, and I obviously know what it's like. Add to that, my kids have special needs. You're getting extremely defensive over people's answers to a question asking how we are feeling about our lives. You asked "Does anyone else feel like they are taken for granted?" which is what we answered. It seems you really wanted to know "Does anyone feel sorry for me?"

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 8:58 PM on Mar. 21, 2013

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