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Ok, secrets out...24 things cops know, but most people don’t.... :)

Not all of these are strictly what the police know that private citizens don’t, but they’re close.

Many are things I wish I could have said, but would have been in big trouble for doing so.

1.) Even though you say differently, you probably don’t know your rights.

2.) If you leave your teenager in charge of the house while you go away for the weekend, he or she will probably do something you forbade them to do. If they decide to host a beer party, your house will be wrecked.

3.) You can’t talk your way out of a ticket. Lots of people talk themselves into one.

4.) Of course it went off. What did you expect would happen when you pulled the trigger?

5.) The electronics in your radar or laser detector work no faster than those in my radar or LIDAR gun. By the time the little red light goes on, I already have your speed.

6.) We know you had more than two beers.

7.) If you grew up with guns in the house, you probably knew how to get to them, even though your parents thought they had them hidden or locked away. Don’t think your kids are any less ingenious.

8.) Arguing with me here will not go well for you. Arguments are for courtrooms, where you can make any statements and ask me any questions you want. Out here, I win all the arguments.

9.) We really don’t care how many FOP, State Sheriffs Association or 11-99 Foundation stickers you buy for your car. If you deserve the ticket, you’re getting it.

10.) Yes, you do pay my salary. Today’s obligation can be calculated by the following formula:
((Amount you pay annually in state, county, or city taxes/365) x (Fraction of budget allocated for law enforcement))/(Number of employees in my organization)

11.) I’d be happy to give you a refund. Do you have change for a penny?

12.) Most able-bodied people really can do those tests while sober.

13.) You are not the first person to see a cop and say "Take him, he did it," "I didn’t do it," or to tell your kid, "If you don’t behave, that cop will put you in jail." You probably aren’t even the first one to say that today. You have, however, caused me to mentally label you as a moron.

14.) The gun isn’t to protect you. It is to protect me.

15.) Your substance abuse problem is your business until it spills over into someone else’s life. Now, you are the problem.

16.) I don’t especially care what your race, religion, sexual preference, ethnicity, political affiliation or economic status is. I do have a bias against assholes.

17.) Can anyone here point out this person’s parents? He just asked me if I knew who his father was, and I don’t.

18.) Believe it or not, you really don’t drive better with a few drinks in you.

19.) Do unto others, but do it first.

20.) We are not armed, uniformed scribes. If someone has threatened, insulted, or otherwise vexed you in some non-criminal way and you want it put on record, write it down, take it to a notary public, and sign it in their presence. Poof, you have a record. If we could make one change to improve society, better parenting would be toward the top of the list.

21.) There probably are teenagers who can handle alcohol responsibly outside the direct supervision of an adult. We never run into them, though.

22.) Please press firmly, you are making four copies.

23.) You are in ________. We don’t care how they do it in _________.

24.) Yes, you very well may see me in court. I get paid overtime to be there, win or lose.

Answer Question

Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:39 AM on Mar. 23, 2013 in Just for Fun

Level 34 (66,351 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I am so smart, I know all of these.
    Thanks for the grin.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:45 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • "If we could make one change to improve society, better parenting would be toward the top of the list."

    they would not be alone in this! also, i dont get #11...refund for what?

    Answer by okmanders at 12:47 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Better parenting would probably put a lot of cops out of work, and most of them would be glad if it happened that way.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:59 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • okmanders....I was never sure on that either. I knew about the others, I got a complaint on my file from #17. When the guy asked me that, I asked him "why didn't your mommy tell you??" I got that line from a show I watched. But the officer I knew that says this never fully explained what he meant by that.

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 1:11 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • #11 references #10. Can I get a refund on the salary my taxes are paying? sure, you paid less than a penny towards my wages.

    Answer by feralxat at 1:15 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Ahhh! LOL...that made sense! I always thought he was being just a smart ass..

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 1:29 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Eh, won't make me feel any different toward the dickhead ones. One of which probably wrote this.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 2:06 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • "Eh, won't make me feel any different toward the dickhead ones. One of which probably wrote this."maecntpntz
    Gee PMS much?? Its a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard. The officers who you think are the dickheads, will be the ones someday who may save your life, or somebody you know, they may save their lives. You break the law, you get caught doing it, you get punished. Another words, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. The only time someone is thankful the police are there, is when they need help, and most of the time we do not even get a simple thanks. Officers show up at the worst moments in a person's life, they see the worst of the worst everyday. Deal with folks who kill a child by shooting them in the face for some money, or some mom who beats her child cause they wet the bed or their diaper, a drunk that kills a group of teens when he smacks their car broad side cause he choose to drive...

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 2:49 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Or when an officer does a simple traffic stop, gets shot at and killed cause the fucker has no respect for nobody or their life. So then the police dept or whoever has the sad duty of driving to the officer's house to tell their spouse they are widow, and their children will have to grow up without the other parent. They now live in a single parent household. And the only consolation that kid had is knowing they died a hero. But that is a very small comfort cause they much rather have them alive.
    So the next time you come across another "dickhead" maybe you should take a step back and wonder if they had a bad day, or maybe think regardless what you think of them, they still show up and help you anyway if you need them. So maybe you should should stop being so bitchy.

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 3:00 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • It's hard to believe people don't know about #2- that seems like a "Well, Duh" thing to me. That's why I never did that! :p

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:05 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

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