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6 Bumps

How hard is it to transition to a single parent?

I've never been a single mom. I have two kids pretty much right out of high shook I was living with someone then I met my husband we have a six year old and a one year old. I am waiting to hear back from an apartment complex about an available apartment back home. How hard was it for you to adjust to being on your own?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Mar. 23, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • I have never been one but I know that I can do anything for my kids, and although hard if others can do this so can you!
    older

    Answer by older at 11:24 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Not that hard. Getting a schedule started right away will help you and them get adjusted. The hardest is not having a break and trying to make time for yourself.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 11:24 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • i was with my child's father for five years, three with our child
    and now i have been a single parent for two and a half

    easier for me, as i do not have to repair his poor choices with our child
    and i do not have to 'parent' him

    but if you have a good father to your kids and then he is just gone from your lives- that would be hard to handle
    IF, he is still in the kids lives, but just not living together..then NOT a single parent, separated parents..but kids still have both (not single, just not together) if this is the case, work together as well as you can to make the same rules in both homes, and never show any anger towards each other in front of the kids
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:27 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Not that hard. Getting a schedule started right away will help you and them get adjusted. The hardest is not having a break and trying to make time for yourself.

    Answer by kmath

    IF father is still around, taking kids even every other weekend...you will seem to have MORE time to yourself (after the adjustment)
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:28 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • are you saying you are leaving your husband of six years and how will it be without him?
    single parent?
    or
    single mom?

    single parent meaning the father is no longer in the children's lives
    single parent, (to me) means doing all parenting, and no father in the child's life

    single mom, just means not married to father but he MIGHT be around to care for kids on his time
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:29 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • I'll be moving an hour away he is only the father of my youngest child I had my daughter about a year before we met we have been together almost five years. He will be seeing our son every other weekend. I mean is it hard to date new people? Hard to get along with your ex when you have to associate with him? I know all people are different so it's not an exact science but do you find being a parent alot more difficult or the same just a little less free time
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:34 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • he will not be seeing the six yr old...that is SAD

    hard to date new people?... imo, this should not even be entering your thoughts, you are not even out of your marriage yet
    imo, do not date for a long wile, get to know yourself, spending time with yourself is not a bad thing, and when you know yourself better, you may choose a better partner. two children two different men and thinking of finding a new one already= does not sound like a good foundation to start a new relationship. there is time to date later

    that is just me
    men fix toasters, not women with an empty place to fill...do you know what i mean?
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:39 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • try to look at this time as
    time WITH yourself
    not time alone

    being single can make you stronger and a better person for when the 'right' one comes along
    if you are all together you will not settle on someone who you NEED to fill something that is missing in you, as you will not have missing parts
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:41 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • First & foremost, focus on the kids right now. ^^^
    This is NOT the time to start dating b/c all you'll end up doing is settling because you don't want to be alone.

    Set a good schedule & yes realize ahead of time that you will be on duty 24/7 (a concept people with partners do not understand). Realize that you won't get much sleep b/c there are many things that you'll only be able to do after the kids (or at least your 1 yr old) has gone to bed: like showering & etc.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 11:42 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Don't even worry about dating again yet. You need time and distance to heal and learn to love yourself, by yourself first. Getting along with your ex is up to you. It depends on your relationship and if you can both be adults about co-parenting your child in separate households. My ex and I took a couple of years to adjust but we are better friends now than we ever were when we were together. We decided our son was the most important thing and we are both willing to compromise when necessary. Parenting for me is about the same as I was pretty much the only one who parented our son when we were together.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 11:44 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

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