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4 Bumps

Great Advice on men from Oprah!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts... ❤

Answer Question
 
kyheavensmom

Asked by kyheavensmom at 11:40 AM on Mar. 23, 2013 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,620 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't particularly like Oprah but this is great advice.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:56 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • i like that a lot
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:06 PM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • I would love to send this part to the pregnant slut that "borrowed" my husband "Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you"
    musicmaker

    Answer by musicmaker at 12:39 PM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • Thanks for sharing.
    Was this some kind of compilation of various quotes, all put together? Or was it an article/piece?
    I have to say it's a mixed bag of advice, seeming very pick-and-choose. I mean, "If something bothers you, speak up" is something I agree with. But the next two lines ("Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later") is pretty far from where I'd wish to be in a relationship/mindset, and seems to go against the later assertion that "all men are NOT dogs."
    All the lines about not letting him "feel he is more important than you" also seem a lot more about defensive strategy & (underlying) antagonism than any dynamic you'd hope for in a relationship characterized by equal dignity. It sounds like the flip-side of advice to "keep a woman in her place."
    It seems, maybe, like how to relate & hold your own in a relationship with a not-so-great guy, which she's not recommending in the first place!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:40 PM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • thanks for sharing.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:06 PM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • I usually cant stand Oprah, but those are wise words.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:06 PM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • You all are welcome, a friend shared it on Fb, and I thought it was great advice, so I thought I shared it here.
    kyheavensmom

    Comment by kyheavensmom (original poster) at 6:44 PM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • bow down

    Monsita

    Answer by Monsita at 1:09 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

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