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My friends husband

I don't get it. My husbands friend left her for a 40 year old woman. I can see a twenty something, since they still have some growing up to do. Not that it is right. But what kind of 40 year old woman who has been married twice before with a child go after a married man with a child?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Do you know for a fact that SHE pursued him? Maybe it was the other way 'round?
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:48 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I don't care who pursued who. She knew he was married and still had a relationship with him. They are both wrong. And yes,she must have issues if she has been married twice before and starts a relationship with a man
    kimmy1963

    Answer by kimmy1963 at 2:04 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • He could have been attractted to a broom stick with a wig on - the way i see it he just wasnt happy with whatever had been going on in his marriage, which only husband and wife know. Friends only get one side of the story
    krubalc

    Answer by krubalc at 2:06 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Here's the thing, I'm not defending her.

    But how do you know what he told her? What she knew?

    I think that, short of carrying around a divorce decree, it's hard to know who is married and who's not.

    Obviously, you are on your friend's side and that's great. But you don't know the whole story. That's all I'm saying.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:14 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • IT ISNT RIGHT REGARDLESS OR Y. U NEED TO FINISH UP WITH THE FIRST RELATIONSHIP BEFORE U EVEN START TO THINK ABOUT ANOTHER ONE IF ANYONE PLANS ON BEING HAPPY AND WHOLE AGAIN. BUT THAT IS TRUE- A MAN ESPECIALLY CAN BE ATTRACTED TO ANYONE IF HE IS NOT HAPPY AT HOME. BUT MATURE PEOPLE ADDRESS THAT FIRST. U HAVE TO TRY TO FIX IT OR DECIDE TO GET OUT OF IT AND MOVE ON. AND THAT IS ALSO TRUE- FRIENDS ONLY GET ONE SIDE. IMHO, I DONT THINK ANYONE KNOWS WHAT GOES ON BETWEEN 2 PEOPLE EXCEPT THE 2 PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP. THAT IS JUST THE WAY IT IS AND IF U ASKED EACH ONE TO EXPLAIN IT TO ANOTHER PERSON THEY WOULD BOTH HAVE A DIFERENT STORY. HUMAN NATURE I GUESS.
    emily1234

    Answer by emily1234 at 2:21 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • My ex had an affair with a girl that I had known and considered to be my friend for years. She was close to my age, and she KNEW that I was married and that the man she was screwing was my husband. I always thought that ANY woman who sleeps with a married man is just dirt...until this happened to my friend. I knew that even though it was my husband she was sleeping with, that she was not doing it to hurt me, or doing it in spite of it hurting me. She was one of those rare and very sad people who just are so Love Hungry that they make all kinds of bad decisions... including having an affair with a friends husband...I knew she only did it because she THOUGHT he was a decent guy and she longed so badly to be loved. I chewed his ass for using her like that and I forgave her. What was sad was that 2 yrs later she was killed in a motorcycle accident; she was with someone else's husband. It's not always the other woman's fault. JMO
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:25 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • wow PaceMyself.....you are a unique woman indeed. That's how we are supposed to behave but most of us are not strong enough to look at the big picture and see what lies beneath bad behavior. You are sooo right...it is rarely a BAD person.


    Kudos!clapping

    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 2:34 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Look at the whole picture! What did he tell her? The divorce rates are high as it is, so she bad for having 2 of them, you don't know the reason why they happened. There are alot of men that are looking that are married more than you think. I tryed that personal dating, 85% were married at least. It made me change my mind about getting married again, no way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • PaceMySelf, how long did it take you to look at the big picture? I think when there is cheating, BOTH are to blame. Before I was married, I hated being alone. Hated it. But I would NEVER had gotten involved with a married man, no knowingly. And never with a friends husband. It's sad that your friend died, it is. And even more so since she was with another married man.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 3:06 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Because I knew this girl, and because I knew that her heart was kind but that she was so prone to bad decisions and bad relationship, AND because I had seen her so many times wrap all her hopes up in some guy who ended up breaking her heart...then I knew immediately that it was my ex that was doing the using and I knew instantly that it was HER that needed to be protected from him. I'm not saying I'm all strong and could forgive any woman who messes with a married man... but in this one case, I knew her heart and I knew what drove her to do the things she did. So mine was probably a unique case. He also cheated with a hussy after this one friend... and that case was different. The second woman was interfering with intention, causing damage intentionally.... I was not so quick to forgive her. And in the end she dished out some Karma when she dumped my ex (after our divorce). Each case is unique in and of itself.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 3:45 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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