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2 Bumps

How Can I get a family member to move out?

My sister(in her late 30s) lost her job and home because of failure to go to work and her drinking. She was living with a friend and decided to visit for the holidays (suppose to stay only 2 weeks). She then told me that she will be leaving after the new year.. The new year turned to April, which then turned to June, now she is saying OCTOBER.. She is working here in my town, has stopped paying partial rent, and is wasting food by cooking and not eating anything she cooks (It ends up in the garbage). I'm taking care of her dog, and now she's starting to wear my clothes. I am the only family member that talks to her, and I'm tired. I want my couch, my clothes and my freedom back.. I ask her all the time, what her plans are and I tell her what I think she should do. She is also posting negative things about me on the internet. This is making me resentful towards her. To save the relationship she must leave soon!

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tatiyana217

Asked by tatiyana217 at 2:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Give her a date that she will have to leave, than if she is not gone than, change the locks.
    She has had enough time to get herself together.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • If she's taken this much advantage of you, I don't see any way for this to end well unfortunately. Pick a date that you can agree with and tell her she NEEDS to leave by that date. Write up and have her sign an agreement to it for legal purposes in case she refuses to leave when that date comes. What happens from there is in her hands, not yours.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 2:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • Since she has lived with you for so long you may have to give her written notice that you are evicting her at the end of 30 days and then go to court which could be another 30 days. Talk to a lawyer.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:38 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • Give her an eviction notice. She has 30 days from TODAY. If she is not out in 30 days, you'll put her stuff outside while she's at work, and change the locks. You are no longer "asking" her when she's leaving, you are TELLING her.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:40 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • So, put your foot down. Start telling her what you expect from her instead of suggesting how she behave.
    Tell her to stay out of your closet, pick up after her dog, and stop raiding your food. Designate a shelf in the fridge and pantry for her and tell her that she may only eat what SHE puts on those shelves - nothing from the other shelves. If she can't respect these things tell her you WILL send her on her way immediately. And partial rent is owed no later than the 5th of each month - if she doesn't pay by the 5th, she's OUT!
    And set a deadline. Don't ask when she's leaving, TELL her you need her out by June 30 (that's 3 months - plenty of time for her to figure it out). TELL her that is the deadline, and she is encouraged to move prior to then so she doesn't find herself on the street.
    TELL her how you expect for her to behave and if she won't oblige, you kick her out! NOW!
    daylily888

    Answer by daylily888 at 2:41 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • Tell her that you are changing the lck n 2 weeks and she needs to move.
    Check with an attorey to be sure ou do not have to do anything else, since she was paying rent. You may have o get an order of evicition but not probably.

    Are you in an apartment? If so I have another thought.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • @ Dardenella, yes I'm in an apartment. I have thought about going to the office and letting them know the situation, but I am afraid that they will ask me to leave for breaking the lease. I didn't mention that in Feb she spent a week in the hospital because her drinking caused her pancreas to fail. Now every time I tell her that she has to leave, she gets "ILL". I put a lock on my bedroom door yesterday so she couldn't get in my room, and she questioned it. I am doing all that I can do not to have this situation become a physical altercation. I just recently graduated college and my fiancĂ© is coming to celebrate with me, now I have a new headache because we will have no privacy in my own home and I feel no need to go get a hotel. It's bad enough my 19 yr old son hates coming home because she is here. So he just spends all of his time working and going to school.. I just to scream....
    tatiyana217

    Comment by tatiyana217 (original poster) at 3:07 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • Seriously, sisterly affection only goes so far, and her taking advantage of you is interfering with the relationship you have with your son. Give her a deadline and stick to it.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:19 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • I was the manager for 2 apartment complexes.
    She is not on the lease.
    Go to the manager and tell her that she was to stay just for the holidays which is ok by your lease. But instead of moving out at the new year she has stayed and you can't get her to leave. Ask her nicely to write a letter stating that she is not allowed to stay in this apartment any longer as it is a violation of your lease. She will probablly also tell her that she can come and fill out an aplication for an apartment but she must be out but XYZ date.

    Tell the manager nicely but clearly it was supposed to be for a visit and not for a moving in and that you are sorry and hope that it will not affect your rental status as you like living there.

    Most managers understand that this happens and are willing to help you. That is the route I would go and have all her stuff packed up. Ask for the locks to be changed.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • BTW I would go today. I would also mention that she just told you she does not intend to leav until October.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:36 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

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