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Parenting advice

The teacher in my daughter's classroom has class money and candy reward system. My daughter asked me recently to buy candy, she insisted on this candy and we bought it. She asked us whether she could give these candy to her friends as treat at lunch. We said fine. Then she asked to bring some more. Today she returned with bunch of class money that children paid to her to get that candy. She told us and I am not quite sure what to do with it.

I think she breaking teacher's reward system
Part of me proud of her she made some money
She thinks that the kids entitled to spend their money the way they like

I spoke to her and she does not get what exactly wrong with what she is doing...I cannot explain her better for now and need your advice. I afraid that she will get in trouble with her teacher as well, if the teacher knows. Word of advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Mar. 25, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • So, I'm not clear. Is the "class money" real money or just some play money that kids get for good behavior that they can then spend on the candy that they teacher "sells"? Is there anything else they can spend it on? If the teacher is using real money... well, I gotta give your kid props for finding the logical flaw in the teacher's plan. She is right - kids can spend their money on anything they like. However, you can talk to your daughter about when it's a good idea to follow the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law. Tell her she's right about it so far, BUT sometimes it's nice to go along with the teacher's (or societal) intent just because the teacher would appreciate it. AND then I would talk to the teacher about this loop-hole in her plan, and suggest that she gives out tickets or something that can be redeemed for the candy.

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 10:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • If the class money is some kind of play money, you can point out to your daughter that there is no real up-side in this for her. You are spending real money for the candy and getting... what exactly in return? Is she actually making a profit in the end? Do the math. If she is making a real profit here, honestly I'd talk to the teacher about changing the exchange rates so it's not in a kid's interest to run this side-scheme. I wouldn't punish a kid for being a smarter businessman than the teacher.

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 10:45 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • The money can be spent in the teacher store on toys or candies, she made nearly $100 toy dollars by selling 10 candies, for that she can get 5 dollar or so toy. Thus, you can say the profit is real...;). I can't help it, she did the math, she decided about price and she got her toy in one day while for that she had to work whole week or even guess I will have to speak to the teach.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:36 PM on Mar. 25, 2013

  • Look out, world! There's a new tycoon on the horizon! You've got a smart little girl. I'd speak with the teacher, and tell your daughter one business venture is enough for now.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:12 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Yeah, seems like you gotta talk to the teacher. But I'd also go back and make sure that your daughter knows what you are doing and why. She wasn't being bad or anything. She was quite clever. BUT the goal of the teacher's system is to reward hard work and good behavior (or whatever), so you are going to talk to the teacher about changing the system so she can use it to teach these lessons more effectively. Your daughter is a smart kid - I would go ahead and be honest.

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 12:21 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I am not clear on this eiither. But first and formost do not give her any candy and tell her he is forbidden from doing this. And take the candy away as tis is not wha the candy is for.

    She asked for candy to give her friends as a treat. She lied. She used the candy for another purpose entirely.
    Another way of looking at it is that she stole he candy because the candy was not hers to sell in the first place.
    She violated the teacher's rule. It does not matter what the rule is, you do not break the school rules. And you do not get rewarded for doing it.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:58 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • My daughter got candy from us, as a reward for her math tests she got 3 tests- 100% in the row. She can share this candy with whoever she likes. Her dad and I did not think she will collect money for that. But she decided to collect money today and children were ready to pay her. The teacher, probably did not expect that to happen either. She told what happen by the end of the day, she spent some money at the teacher store. I do not see it as something criminal or illegitimate...but as I wrote before, I think there is certain ethical issue involved.Yet, I do not feel she should be punished for that.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:34 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • It's not about punishing here but the teacher can explain it better than you. You seem to proud of her and it is stealing. She is young and things like this happen but she could also end up ruining the in class rewards system for her and her friends, esp if they start bring there own candy and trying to sell it too.
    Just go in early with her and talk to the teacher and let her deal with it. She messed up yes, but if the teacher has a system as awesome as this one than she seems like some one who will teach your daughter between right and wrong and why what she did was wrong. Not just punish her.

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 2:30 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • So the child had candy, which the kids wanted. She gave them candy, collected their play money, added it to her own, and purchased something bigger/better at the teacher's class store.

    OK, it worked that time because she had a supply of candy. The kids got something (candy) for their play money, and your daughter got a bigger concentration of play money.

    She saw the opportunity & made it happen.

    As long as your daughter doesn't have a steady supply of candy etc. to provide her classmates, this won't be an ongoing thing.

    I wouldn't address it by bringing it to the teacher's attention (the teacher would presumably be aware of how much money the kids tend to accumulate, and could notice that something somewhat unexpected happened, anyway) or making it an issue at home. I see no reason to try to persuade her that it was "unethical." It just happened, because of unusual circumstances (having a candy supply.) Keep that unusual!

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:48 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • (From the OP it sounded possible that the child shared her candy with her friends & then asked for more from home, which she took in a 2nd time & collected play money. I guess it's not totally clear; she could have been collecting the money all along.)

    If the kids are getting a product they value more than what's available at the teacher's store, they'll spend their class money, tickets or tokens on that brand of candy.

    I would not continue to provide her with candy, even if she "insists." That would be the way I'd address it.

    If she were making private arrangements with a friend for her cookie from lunch, (or even doing something like deciding to save & "sell" all her Easter candy) that to me would be a different matter, but an easy candy supply is not something she'd normally have & I would accept responsibility for that. I'd just cut off my part as "supplier."

    I don't find the classroom reward system ideal OR desirable.

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:10 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

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