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Is my 8 year old son gay or curious?

I am no longer with his father, but around 6 my son started "peeking" under the blankets while I would be asleep with my other half, sometimes we would wake up and see him hiding on the side of the bed. I thought to myself, he's probably just curious right? Well he's 8 now and still doing the same thing so I have had several talks with him now, but recently, now regretting letting him have a facebook/iphone.. I am finding aps for things like "sexy men" and what not.. I'm not sure if this is just curiousity or not. I told him that he needs to delete all things like this from both his phone and his facebook or I will take them away, not because he shouldn't be curious at his age, but because things on the internet just are not safe.

I'm confused, I grew up with my mother who was a single parent as the middle child of sisters.. I have no clue if this is a phase boys go through, or if it means something else.


Asked by 5letters at 11:51 AM on Mar. 26, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (46)
  • That's not the problem anyway. You have to be at least 13 to have a Facebook account, so either he or you lied about that. That's a bigger issue right now. Plus at 8, he's not old enough to make wise decisions about apps on an iPhone. I think you are doing more damage to your son because you aren't paying attention to the rights and wrongs here. Teach him how to abide by rules and you do the same. Being bi, gay or whatever will the least of your problems in the long run if you continue these behaviors.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:01 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • OH my gosh please stop making up excuses! He's too young to have a cell phone! You gave him a cell phone at the age of seven? Why? Unless it's for emergencies (and you don't need to use an iPhone for emergencies) there's no reason that a young child should have cell phone with that much access to social sites and texting. Just imagine what you could be exposing him to. If you want him to play games, buy him a Wii, a Leap Frog or a Nintendo GS. OR better yet, buy him books to read instead! We rely too damn much on technology to entertain our children. He doesn't need a frikkin phone!

    Answer by uwmilf at 12:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • You let an 8 year old have Facebook and an iPhone? So the problem is not your son. It's you. You are not a good parent.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Be an adult and the parent and take that shit away.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:02 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I agree. You are giving your 8yo young adult/adult gadgets with access to the adult world and expecting him to stay within the perimeters of being "just a kid". There is such a thing as age appropriate gadgets - 8 is far too young for Facebook and or a cell phone (I'm not talking about an iphone... just a cell phone in general. Where in the world would your 8 year old be ALONE that he would need to have his own cell phone?

    DS is 15 and still only has a basic cell phone and no computer of his own. He just recently set up a facebook, but is rarely on it. He's in sports and spends time with friends and focuses on school... no need for all the electronic nonesense to steal time from his childhood. You only get those years ONE time! It's up to us adult to help protect that time from being spoiled by all the distractions they have the rest of their lives to be distracted by.

    Answer by daylily888 at 12:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • But I do think you should go back through. No one yelled at you. THIS IS YELLING. This is not. You may have been met with sternness/firmness or directness that can be read as yelling if you choose. Sometimes we get exacerbated by thickheadedness... because some things are just common sense - but then common sense isn't always common. You son is 8! If you treat him like a prince and give him all he desires, you will be the one suffering the immediate consequences - he'll suffer his consequences later in life. YOUR job until he is 18 is to mold him and shape him and teach him responsibility and delayed gratification and living a full rich life full of people and memories, not THINGS. Right now you are giving him all he desires to keep him distracted and out of your hair - that is NOT the means to molding a fine young man. At 8 he should be playing outside, climbing trees, catching lizards, playing fort with his friends

    Answer by daylily888 at 12:40 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I think you should sit down and talk to him. Let him know that whatever he is feeling is ok and that you will support and love him no matter what. I personally don't think that facebook is safe for children. I think he should have a prepaid tracfone with no internet for emergencies or when he's out of the house. Anyway, I got off subject. Love your son unconditionally but do talk to him about the peeking. Not appropriate. Good Luck.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 12:05 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • He's the only one that can answer that and it's not something that you or he should worry about right now. Just be a parent and let him be a kid. Love him unconditionally. That's really all he needs. Him liking girls now or sports have nothing to do with his future sexual preference. I know adult gay men that are football fanatics. Sports have nothing to do with it.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:11 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • You can't lock down an iphone - not to the extent you need to.
    You need to trade the iphone in for a simple flip phone... you know the $50, don't-care-if-he-drops-it-in-a-bucket-of-water-or-jumps-in-a-pool-with-it-in-his-pocket-because-he-forgot-it-was-there-type-of-phone. But again, where is he going at age 8 where there isn't adult supervision and he would need his very own phone?

    Answer by daylily888 at 12:12 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • well maybe I'll let him keep the iphone as long as I can put some parental controls on it.. does anyone know of any?
    Taking it away. That's good parental control.

    Answer by uwmilf at 12:13 PM on Mar. 26, 2013