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Did personal responsibility die in recent generations?

i always see some people are so quick to blame the parents when a teenager (for example) goes and shoots a toddler in the face. while i understand there are circumstances that could produce a mentally unstable teenager, sometimes they just make really bad, stupid choices. i was raised in a happy home with two married parents and a stable environment. is it my parent's fault that i decided to be irresponsible and become a mother at 19? skip school and smoke marijuana and drink underage? when the skipping school thing caught up with me they took my car and cell phone away and personally dropped me off at school. you know what i did? turned right back around when they weren't looking and left with my boyfriend. is that their fault? i find it ironic that we're being blamed for coddling our children, yet we (not all of us) aren't teaching them to be accountable.

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 26, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 43 (159,592 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I wish I could remember where I came across it, but I read a quote not long ago asking your same basic question. Only it wasn't current. The quote was by Plato. I think every generation wonders if the next one has lost personal responsibility, or lost its collective mind, but much of it is just the age-old debate between parents and children, between the "old" ways and the "new" ideas.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:32 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Yes, it's not the Village's fault.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:13 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • IA. My kids are responsible for their own behavior even at the ages of 7 and 10. I am teaching them to be accountable and to not blame the other when they get in trouble for acting out. "She made me do it! She made me mad!" Nope....that doesn't fly here. YOU control your reactions and actions towards others.
    It's not my fault I'm punishing you.....your choices and behaviors from those choices are to blame.
    sahmamax2

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 1:16 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • You are talking about mischief here not taking a life, when you have a young kid not even flinching at the possibility of killing an innocent child there is more than just bad choices......
    older

    Answer by older at 1:25 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Parents are responsible. Kids spend the first four years of their lives with their parents and they develop a sense of who their parents are. Kids are sponges that way.


     


    So if your child were to rape and murder someoen when they are adults, you will be the one to blame? You need a new way of thinking. 

    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:25 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • While a child is a child, it is our responsibility as parent to give them all the tools and guidance necessary to send them into adulthood fully equipped to take on the world. They need to understand they the only person watching their back needs to be themselves only and that nothing comes easy in life - it takes work and diligence. They also need to understand they they are responsible for their success or failure. If you do the best job you can, it's then up to them to live responsibly. You have 18 years! 18 years to teach them what they need to know. Sometimes they will make very bad decisions regardless of your best efforts - they will all the time make a few poor decisions or even more than a few, but that's just learning to live on your own. Hopefully they don't land themselves in jail or in trouble with the law.
    daylily888

    Answer by daylily888 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • It's not always the parents fault but sometimes it is. The parents that don't do anything about their child getting into trouble. Or the coddle them. My MIL use to buy her son ciggs and didn't care that he drank when he was a teen. Some parents rather be their parents friend then their parent. I use to have a friend that let is 14 yr old get her belly pierced then paid for her to get two tattoos when she was 16. Even bought her birth control and let her boyfriend stay the night. It's parents like that is at fault when their children grow up to be pest or get knocked up early. My mother bought my alcohol while I was in my teens. She let me spend the whole summer at my boyfriends when I was 14-15. I was a little smarter then my mother and made smart choices but Is till got away with a lot of things I shouldn't have because my parents didn't care what I did,
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Parents are responsible. Kids spend the first four years of their lives with their parents and they develop a sense of who their parents are. Kids are sponges that way.
    uwmilf

    Answer by uwmilf at 1:18 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Parents are responsible. Kids spend the first four years of their lives with their parents and they develop a sense of who their parents are. Kids are sponges that way.


    so you are implying kids are mindless sheep. they cannot think for themselves nor act for themselves. humans are incapable of change?

    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 1:20 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Part of coddling is protecting them from the consequencese of their actions. To some degree I think that some sections of society certainly are guilty of this behaviour. The attitude that it is always the teacher's fault your child is failing. It would have nothing to do with the fact that you have made it clear at home that the child does not have to do the work and she can't not pass you any way. How about it is the policeman's fault that you got a ticket. Nevermind you were over the speed limit by 10 miles. It is the job's fault hat you are no longer employed, even if you showed up drunk or not at all. And speaking of drunk, how can you be responsible after the first drink? That is so unfair. And we can go on.
    But it isn't like this every where though the "everyone gets a trophy even if you never showed up to a game" seems to be going strong.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:21 PM on Mar. 26, 2013