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2 Bumps

My husband keeps switching career goals...

He'll be 34. He's gone from the Army to being a temp, to pulling security, to custodial work, to Coast Guard, to pulling security again, to going to school to be an engineer, to going to Culinary School to be a chef, to now going to school to be a Business Manager. And I know it's not going to end there because I know it's not what he really wants to do, but he injured his knee in Iraq and it's likely that being a chef won't be good for his knee. So what do you do when your s/o can't decide on an occupation and keeps changing goals?

I followed him around through most of our marriage, I started going back to school three years ago (missed a quarter cause I had a baby) and I'm close to getting my Bachelor's. I'm happy to take on the financial responsibility once I establish a career for myself and we have financial stability (if that exists in this day and age) but it really worries me that he can't commit to anything. Am I being unreasonable to worry?

Answer Question

Asked by uwmilf at 4:02 PM on Mar. 26, 2013 in Money & Work

Level 17 (3,633 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would ask him why he has changed his career goals. Is he doing it because of the economy? 


    Answer by JeremysMom at 4:06 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Sounds like he's manic /depressive or bipolar to me, which would be common for a vet with an injury. Has he had counseling or tried any type of job placement services?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • He's doing it based on what he believes he can accomplish. The problem is, (and this is going to sound harsh) is that he hasn't accomplished anything career-wise. He earned his Associates Degree in College, he's been certified in a lot of different skills, he just doesn't apply any of it.

    Comment by uwmilf (original poster) at 4:08 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Check with unemployment offices or colleges. Most of them offer occupational apptitude tests. Some of them just help you to see other possibilities and some help you o narrow down choices.

    He can talk to a counselor and jot out what he has taken and why and the counselor may be able to steer him onto a course that is more "him"
    He may not be a chef but with that and business education behind him he could do other things in that field.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:10 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • HE has and I think you're right. He feels useless as an injured vet with PTSD. But I know he's capable of working and I know that he can be successful in whatever he decides. The problem is that he keeps changing his mind and he has to start all over again and again. It's exhausting. It's like watching him run on a treadmill.

    Comment by uwmilf (original poster) at 4:10 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I didn't mean to use the word useless, but I do think he feels lost.

    Comment by uwmilf (original poster) at 4:16 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Sound like you need to do your thing. Finish school and get a good job in your field. You wont be able to rely on him for money.
    Can you handle him being this way for the rest of your marraige. Not bring any money in because he bouncs from one job to the other?

    Answer by louise2 at 4:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I kind of have no choice.

    Comment by uwmilf (original poster) at 4:28 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Thats too many changes for someone who needs to be providing for a family.
    I hope he will find something soon and stick with it.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • he can still be a Chef, if that is what he desires, many people work with bad knees and such, I applaud his service to our country, but it is time he seeks counseling and gets on with helping out your family!

    Answer by jerseydiva at 5:23 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

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