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Put yourself in this guy's shoes

If your wife chose to go to college to become a dental assistant ($4000)- decided it wasn't for her,never looked for a job in this field
Decided to get a business degree ($10,000)- never did a job in that field
Decided that now she wanted to go into circuit board technology,and went to community college ($5000),and never looked for work in that field
So 3 degrees so far
Now she wants to be a cop. This college is the most expensive,$17,000
Do you think the husband has the right to be upset that so far she has pretty much wasted $19,000,and may be added this latest one for a grand total of $36,000,and she may never do anything with any of them?
She doesn't work at all. She does volunteer work
She claims they can afford it,but that's not really the point,is it?
She doesn't get why he's upset.
She got mad at me when I suggested she do something in one of her other fields instead.


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 5:11 PM on Mar. 26, 2013 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • She's acting like a spoiled child. I want this, no I changed my mind, I want that, no wait. I'd be upset, too. I got two degrees and am not working in either field, but I sure as hell wouldn't go for another one!

    Answer by Ballad at 1:55 AM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • Yeah I'd make her get a job. She's more than qualified she needs to take advantage of it and work. Some people aren't qualified and can't get work.

    Answer by uwmilf at 5:15 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • And, none of those degrees "fit" to a specialized position either. Yeah, I'd be upset.

    Answer by 3libras at 5:16 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I would be extremely upset!!!

    Answer by older at 5:17 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • She needs to find her WHY. She's floating. She has no purpose. When she finds her WHY she'll find her reason for being, her drive, her passion.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:18 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • If he keeps paying for it, than they can afford it.
    If she ever had to go get a job, than she will atleast have degrees in more than one field, just would have to get in some work experience.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 5:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I guess it depends on the dinamics of their relationship. Dh and I both take classes in colege or community or other programs. We have no intention fo following through and finding jobs inthose fiends. They simply interest us. We feel that no study / learning is wasted. We also do not feel it must make a buck to be useful. That is our family dynamic. So in our case no it would not be right for him to be upset, unless e could not afford to do so.

    It sounds as though their dynamic is different (aren't we all) and that it was expercted that she would earn money with the line of study she took. If that is th expectaion, then bring other outside influences, she should follow through. At the minimum I could understand him, tellin ther tha he will be happy for her to go back to school, once she has earned the money to go.
    It "sounds" like she is bored even though she volunteers and is looking for new stimulatuion, constant

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:53 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • just because they can afford it, who cares, the money could go towards kid's college, not hers take in to account that she has spent, lets say a total of 6 years in school, if she had spent that time working any job, she could have made $20,000 grand per year doing almost anything, so the $35,000 and the $120,000 she could have earned would have been a huge contribution to her kid's schooling or retirement.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 5:57 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • Since they have no children together to send off to college than I say spend the money, they cant take it with them cant come back for it and if they don't mind can I get a small loan ;-)

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2013

  • I would say better get your dental assistant's uniform out, cause that is how you are going to pay for it, and no offense, being a cop isn't the easiest job in the world, so what is the point of her doing it?

    Answer by jerseydiva at 5:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2013