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I'm trying to stay out of it. (sorry long vent, but had to get it out)

ok i work at my churches clothes and food pantry every weds for almost a year now. i have a neighbor who just started working here last month. on the first sunday of the month the workers get to get food and clothes on the first sunday of the month.
that said here's the problem. ever since my neighbor started she has been taking out alot of stuff. and i mean bags and bags of stuff. the person in charge keeps asking me if she needs everything she takes and i say yes. she needed the table, she needed the beds and all those clothes. now comes last week. 2 dvd/vcr combos came in. she told the person in charge that she didn't have any dvd. that was a lie! and today she told the person in charge that she didn't have any tvs at all! another lie. and the person in charge asked me about it and i told the truth. now i've got my neighbor mad at me. (which i could care a less! i would rather have her mad at me than the person in charge)
and then she made me mad! last week i got a dresser. and she came at me today and said
"why would you tell her i have tvs. i didn't tell her that you already had dressers!"
and i replied "i already told her. i also told her months ago that my grandma wanted the dresser that my two youngest were sharing."
which is the only reason i got it. or else another lady would have gotten it.
well after everyone else had left, the person in charge came at me and asked me what was going on. because the neighbor went around telling stories about me and they wanted the truth. so i told her the truth. now the person in charge is really mad at the neighbor. she's planning on having a long talk with her next week about stuff you need and stuff you want.
because her rule is: take what you really need!
sorry not really a question, i just had to get it off my chest. but to be honest the final straw for the neighbor, was she got food today. and the person in charge asked how often she did that. i replied with the truth. (i can't lie to this woman no matter how hard i try!) she gets food every week.
we are here for the people in the community, unless the food people offers it too us, we don't ask for anything.


Asked by noel1978 at 6:56 PM on Mar. 27, 2013 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 24 (20,417 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Sorry but it sounds like every one working there is taking advantage and the community that you are supposed to be serving are the ones who are really missing out.
    And you can't say you don't ask for anything when you're planning in ADVANCE for "obtaining" a dresser because your grandmother wanted one you already have. And when you're talking WANTS versus NEEDS. Well You didn't NEED a dresser as you already had one. You WANTED one so you could give the one you currently have to your grandmother who WANTED the one you've got.
    So much for the community.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 7:01 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • i can't lie to this woman no matter how hard i try
    why are you lying??

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 7:15 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • Yikes... Our safe house thrift store has a strict policy against employees TAKING anything that has been donated.

    Answer by m-avi at 8:23 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • I think the new rule should be nobody takes anything period. I know it would be tempting, but unless you have a dire need for something, as in food, then all of the other stuff should go to the church, they could have a "pay what you can afford" policy on furniture and such, but trading clothes for others is different than just helping yourself to whatever looks better than what you have, in lieu of taking things, I would suggest a policy for the employees of donating an equal value of something.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 7:33 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • I would suggest that the items left over either be sold at a yard sale to raise money for the church or contact local agencies to see if there is a need elsewhere.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • There is nothing wrong with the sisystem you have IMO. There are just some people in this world that will do anything to get a freebee,
    A little tighter reigh on what is taken out. So maybe a running list of the things you need, for each person. The item has to have been on the list at least 2 weeks unless there is an emergency (directors call) and limit the number of items that can be taken at any given time.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:47 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • It sounds like you handled it just fine. Your neighbor was wrong for expecting you to lie for her. I do know that is how some people get by, and we must pray for them. I so understand the need to vent.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:08 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • actually my grandma doesn't have a dresser. she needed one as her's broke back in nov. which is why i've been trying to find a dresser for her. but she lives in a small apartment and needs the dresser to 28 inches wide. (the same size as my daughter's old dresser) and 45 inches tall. the new dresser had five drawers and is twice as tall as the girl's old dresser.

    that's the only reason i got the dresser. and as for the clothes, i trade my daughter's clothes. we don't have money to go out and buy brand new clothes for our three daughters, so what ever they grow out of i take to the church and then get the same amount (take 2 pairs of pants get 2 pairs of pants) and i've been donating to them before i even started going to the church.

    Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 7:10 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • we are aloud six pieces of clothes as long as donate six but that is all. unless it's a dire emergency. i started working there in sept, i didn't take anything until dec when the person in charge noticed that my winter coat was also my spring jacket. (i had one coat to my name.) and she made me take a winter coat. when we moved from a three story house to a three bedroom apartment all our extra furniture and stuff went to the church. we took the stuff over to the church on weds, (when they were open) and then we delivered the furniture to two different homes. the love seat went to one place and the two piece china hutch went to the other.

    and the neighbor assumed i would lie for her because we have known each other for a whole year.

    Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 9:50 PM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • The current situation seems fine, as long as everybody is willing to abide by the rules of limiting what they take, but that doesn't sound like it's happening. Hopefully the director can straighten your neighbor out.

    And don't feel bad about trading clothes or taking the dresser. Many people do that. I volunteered answering phones in a food pantry for a long while, and I would have done it for nothing, but I took food once a month because my then husband and I really did need it and were blessed by it.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:51 PM on Mar. 28, 2013