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Over shy help please!!!!

I'm not stay home mom i work 37 hours a week, but my sons 14 months he has really confusing life with me engaged and his dad having girlfriend. But today we got pics done he wouldn't leave my lap, he refuses to be around new people. He throws a huge fit no matter how much I comfort and displine doesn't work. Also he refues to sleep in bed alone help me please I feel so stressed.

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xsmommy12

Asked by xsmommy12 at 1:04 AM on Mar. 28, 2013 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Rejecting change. Needs extra love. Poor guy isnt handling it well.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:28 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Try to keep in mind that kids have their personal space even at that age, and adults can be really intimidating to a child because they're so much bigger. I wouldn't worry too much about it right now. I don't have any advice about the bed thing though, sorry.
    Hollyhock.

    Answer by Hollyhock. at 1:29 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • The little one has a lot going on in young life!! You are getting remarried, and working full time. Do you do stuff with just you and him by yourself?? I am not ripping on you I swear, people need to work! Is he in day care at all? Around other kids?? Its no wonder he may be feeling a tad insecure and acting out like you say. If possible and unless you already do, spend one on one time. Go to a park, or McD's, the ones with the play land inside if you live in the north like I do and its too cold.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:30 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • It's not that unusual for some kids to go through this.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:42 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Kids that age are like that. And the changes in his life doesn't help. He will grow out of this stage, eventually.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:36 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • He is 14 months old and you discipline him for not wanting to talk with or be with strangers? Especially with what it sounds like he has going on right now this is perfectly normal and expected. Heck my 5 year old still does not like to talk to adults she doesn't know unless she has to (eg mom or dad is not there). It is not generally recommended to force them or discipline them for this especially at this young of an age. Yes it is a lot on you, but you are a mom and that is what we do. We have to sacrifice for out children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • As far as fear of strangers.....the more patient and understanding you are the shorter this period will last. Do not force him to go to others. And you are confusing him big time if you punish him sometimes for this and comfort him at other times. Be around people and talk and chat letting him see how adults interact from the comfort of your lap. He will eventually be able to accept others. He is still very young.

    The sleeping isse.........does he still nap when you are working? Who puts him down for that nap and how do they do it? Is there a routine they go through everyday to prepare him........like reading a book, singing a song, etc? You need to do that exact routine with him too when it is time to sleep. Introduce a cuddly sleep toy, if he does not already have one, and make it part of the routine. Be patient. Any transition will take time. Be calm and do all of this gently, with NO anger. GL
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:46 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Sounds like he was tentative in a new place (photo studio) while doing something totally out of the normal routine, like getting pictures made.
    Photo shoots can be SOOO stressful! Parents often are tense about "getting the right shot" and whether the little one is performing to expectations (so the pictures will be cute, and good) and it's not surprising that this tension feeds into the child's stress level. That (stress) is what you see reflected in behavior.
    New people & new situations aren't easy for little ones. And at some developmental stages, difficulty/anxiety around separation is normal or expected, so those challenges (new people, new situations, separations) are going to be HARDER at those times of disequilibrium.
    It's good that you recognize that he has a "really confusing life" trying to figure out SO's for both parents, different households. Just keep in mind that this explains the behavior. Give him reassurance.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:12 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • You do not discipline a toddler for being shy or clingy!!!! this is a phase he is going through! he has a lot to handle at his young age, be extra sensitive to this not harsh, give him more of your attention and love even if it means stress for you!
    older

    Answer by older at 9:22 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I work nights I spend 5 hours a day with him I play with him and take him places. Every monday and Tuesday I'm off we spend tons time toegther. Yes he's in daycare. I don't displine for not going aroud strangers and I forgot add when we go around new people he hits me and throws huge fit. When we got his photos done he refused to do it hit the photographer and me. I was just really worried his shyness I never seen kid like this.
    xsmommy12

    Comment by xsmommy12 (original poster) at 10:09 AM on Mar. 28, 2013

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