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What do you do when your kid flat out lies about something

and you KNOW he is the one responsible for it but maintains that, "I didn't do it!"

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Mar. 28, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (16)
  • well first Hoe do you know it was him? Just because of past behavior? Proof?
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:18 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I would tell the child the proof that I had and see if they refuted it.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:22 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I have a lot of experience with this one, unfortunately. My SD had a real lying problem when she came to live with us full time a year ago.

    The way DH and I dealt with it was to have positive proof and not let it go! Over and over again. Punishments for lying and positive feedback and encouragement for changed behavior (as in admitting wrong doing right away.)

    It worked really well, but we had to really hammer it home for the first six months. She will slip once in a great while, but her improvement has been gratifying for all of us. GL
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 2:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • What is the lie?
    I would be 100% sure it was him, I remember that once my DH accused my son of taking his ATM card, he had in the past to play store, I was out of town, and got a phone call, I was like UMM, I have it remember mine wasn't working? He had already made a big stink, and felt like an ass, just because they have lied doesn't mean they always are.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 2:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • depends on what they did that is being lied about, if they have done that thing before...
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:30 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I confront them with the truth, show the evidence, and then punish accordingly. The punishment is always more severe just because of the lie, and I make sure they know what would have been the punishment, and what increased due to lying in the first place.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 2:32 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Depends what it is, and if its become a habit. Find what he likes and take it away. Either friends, sports, computer, TV, ect.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • There is a reason most people lie (kids or not). If he's a compulsive liar then he may need some help identifying truth. Some kids lie to keep from being in trouble. In my home, the rule was that the punishment was to tell the truth if something got broken, misplaced, some one hit someone,etc. If the person lied, then the punishment was for the lie, not for the initial infraction. Sometimes punishing everyone when no one steps up is a good idea. Then peer pressure takes over and siblings, friends, whoever else is involved will take care of it. Perhaps he's doing things he's not aware he'd doing it. Some disorders cause people to distort truth. I guess that it also makes a difference what he's lying about.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:44 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • p.s. the last time my grandson lied I made everyone in the house come into the room and look at him. He asked why and I told him we all wanted to see that miracle of watching his nose grow! lol Even though some kids would be humiliated so it wouldn't be appropriate for them, he laughed and knew he was busted. Now he thinks I have eyes in back of my head so he behaves when I'm visiting!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:46 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • It is rather hard when you do not have any idea of the circumstances. It is like anything else in parenting, the situation matters. How you handle things changes depending on the situation.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:59 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

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