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Does my son hate me?

My son just turned 3 and he has been a TOTAL momma's boy since birth. But the last 2 weeks I noticed he has been attaching himself to daddy. His father and I are married and have been since before he was even born so there's no change there as far as how much he has been around. I was fine with this because I knew at some point there was a chance he would want to be around daddy more. He has always looked up to him. But even more recently we were sitting together watching his favorite show and he moved to the opposite side of the couch and randomly told me he didn't love me. This was not in the midst of an argument. It was very random! And he's been saying that to me ever since. When I have a day off to spend with him and my husband is at work DS is constantly asking me to call daddy and have him come home. Nothing has changed in our home life. My son and I have always gotten along so well. Why does he all of the sudden not like me? I understand bonding to his father but I just want to cry every time he tells me he doesn't love me.

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BraydonsMama262

Asked by BraydonsMama262 at 3:11 PM on Mar. 28, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 13 (1,298 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I think it's pretty normal. At that age they're just learning how to express their thoughts but he's not literally thinking he doesn't love you. He doesn't know what that means yet. When he says it to you just gently tell him it hurts Mommy's feeling when he says that because you love him very much.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 3:16 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I would tell him how sad it makes you when he says things like that. Likely he doesn't understand the gravity of what he is saying...
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 3:16 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Of course he doesn't!!! he has discovered his dad!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 3:24 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Kids that age are just beginning to understand that emotions exist, and their language isn't adequate to express their feelings. Your son probably just means that he likes being around his daddy and misses him. You're the familiar one, there all the time, so what he means when he says he doesn't love you is more like, you're always here, I want Daddy to come back.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:25 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • This is normal and is good. Not the saying I don't love you because even at 3 we can teach them that saying things are not nice.
    They will go back and forth in their attatchments throughout their young lives. This gives them balance.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I think it's pretty normal for them to go through that- I would jsut tell him, "that's okay because I love YOU!" and let it go
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:34 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • totally normally.. all kids are attached to mommy and then when they get bigger they start attaching to the parent of the same gender.. wanting to take on their gender roles and learn from them... my son was the same way.. all about mommy til shortly before his 3rd bday.. then it was daddy daddy daddy 24/7 -- i dont mind it though.. i know he loves me.. when they get boo boos or are sick they always come baby to mommy for comfort. -- when my cousin was a baby she used to be "mean" to everyone and wouldnt give kisses and if you said "but im gonna cry" shed respond with "crrrrryyy" lol they grow out of it
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 3:47 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Both my kids have gone through phases where they prefer one parent over the other. My oldest son is always more attached to me but my youngest prefers daddy a lot. I think what he's going through is normal. But I know it must be heartbreaking that he says he doesn't love you. But i assure you he does. Children take so long to gain empathy and he's not thinking about how its making you feel. I would let him know that it really hurts you when he says that because you love him very much and try so hard to be the best mom. But it will pass..*hugs*
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 4:51 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

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