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What would you do?

This is going to sound kind of dumb, but I have a problem concerning a turkey that was supposed to be cooked for Easter dinner. I answered a question about the Easter meal and got to thinking I could pose this question here.

About a month ago, I gave a friend of mine a frozen turkey I had. The deal was that we would collaborate on an Easter meal, and since she's a more eager cook than I am and has an electric roasting pan that doesn't heat up her whole house, she said she'd fix the turkey and the rest of the dinner, and that along with contributing the meat which is the main expense, I could bring a dessert. Win-win for everybody.

Only now, she's decided she doesn't want to do theEaster meal. Her eyes have been bothering her a lot lately, and she doesn't feel up to it. I understand that. But when I suggested she could drop off the still frozen turkey at my house, she said no, maybe she'd cook it for our church potluck next week or for her birthday, which is coming up soon. She said I gave her the turkey, and even if we didn't eat it on Easter, my family andI would be having some at the potluck or get invited over for her birthday anyway. But I was kind of planning on keeping the leftovers, or splitting them with just her, because they would go a long way in making week night dinners. If the turkey goes to the potluck, it'll be picked clean, so we'll get what we eat that day, but probably nothing else.

So I've got a lot of feelings going on. My boyfriend says it isn't worth squabbling over a stupid turkey, and just to let it go. Maybe he's right. But I feel taken advantage of, like it's kind of not just about the turkey now. Plus, I have nothing particularly special for Easter. He says that doesn't matter and that it's a petty thing to worry about.

What would you do?


Asked by Ballad at 4:13 PM on Mar. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would tell my boyfriend that it would help a lot if he'd listen to me, and that I'm pretty sure I'm going to decide to "let it go" but that I need to work through my feelings about it first. (Basically, I'd absolve him of any perceived responsibility to help, to give advice, or "make me feel better" and just tell him that talking through my feelings will help me to process them, and that talking to someone who can hear how I'm feeling & "let it be" how it is, will help that process.)

    Having my Easter plans change, and being left with nothing particularly special for a holiday dinner when I thought I had it settled, might well be a petty thing to have a big conflict over, and I might be able to make new plans, but having my initial reaction minimized or invalidated doesn't help me reach internal resolution on the matter.

    I'd clarify that I'm not looking for advice or solutions, so he's less likely to "critique" my feelings.

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:16 AM on Mar. 29, 2013

  • I'd let it go. There's lots of stuff on sale at the grocery stores including turkeys. I'm making a ham. Nice and easy and I'll freeze the leftovers. Happy Easter!

    Answer by KPBMom at 4:17 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Agree with your boyfriend, let it go.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:34 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • i totally see your point, and id be annoyed as well.. but in the long run its really not worth it.. id just let it go..

    Answer by nnh_mama at 4:39 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I think that's crapy. I would have given you your turkey back but I agree dont make a big deal.

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 4:41 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I figure the money you spent on the turkey is gone,but i wouldn't let her take advantage of my kindness ever again. That bird was not hers,so she shouldn't get to decide what to do with it.
    Do you think they already ate it,and that's why she's dancing around the issue?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:47 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • So basically she got a full tank of gas worth to take you to the doctor......smooth

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:02 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I agree I'd be very annoyed, and it's pretty rude of her, but I also have to agree that it's not worth the fight. Just tuck this away in your mind for the next time she suggests you two plan something together. It sounds like she's a sneaky thing!

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 5:04 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I would let it go. But remember it. And do not give her anything again. Do not rely on her again either.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:37 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I agree with everyone else. A turkey isn't worth the friendship, but you now know what you're dealing with going forward.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:15 PM on Mar. 28, 2013