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4 Bumps

He is using our joint acct to take vacations with the *EDIT*

can i do anything about that? i just filed today. he drained the joint acct down to $91. i have 3 kids here. he denied cheating until today when he left me his jacket complete with condoms & his wedding ring in the pockets.

I'm tired of being anon. This is Tesserae. here is a post i just made detailing everything up till today

http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18289314/No_anon_for_this_I_need_support_Cheating_husband

Answer Question
 
Tesserae

Asked by Tesserae at 8:15 PM on Mar. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,001 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Not legally. Get all the documentation you can and talk to a lawyer.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:17 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Better call him and tell him to put 1/2 of the money he took out, or you will call his mom and dad, or whatever makes him afraid, I would imagine if it just happened today he still has it, do you have a cc with him, with a very high limit? Go out and get the biggest cash advance you can on it, he will have to pay 1/2 of it at the very least.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 8:20 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • I'm not sure you can do anything, since it's a joint account. When I left my ex-husband, I was 6 months pregnant with a 2.5 yr old, and knew that the money in the joint account was ALL I would have for a while, while he had a job and would get a paycheck every week. So I took the money in the joint account. The bank had no problem letting me take it all and said that because it was a joint account, there was no distinction as to whose money it was. We both had equal ownership, therefore equal access to take money as we desired, including taking it all.

    You could talk to a lawyer, and maybe you'd be able to get a judge to order him to pay you something back, but I don't know if that would be a legal recourse or just a sympathetic judge taking pity.

    It sucks, I know. I wish I could say something more helpful. Good luck!
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:21 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Talk to your Lawyer about it... and have them file an emergency child support order ASAP!!!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:23 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Call the bank and put a freeze on it and try to close the account if you can. In the future, if you suspect someone, you have a right to transfer funds into your own single account fast before they do anything with the money. But, also don't have joint accts anymore. I don't. It's recommended by most therapists, lawyers etc that you wait at least 3-5 years before thinking about any joint accts. It's a civil suit now between you and him since it's a joint acct. Get a lawyer ASAP! Move your stuff out into storage so he can't take the rest of your stuff.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 8:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Not about the money that is already gone. You can open your own account. Go to a lawyer and get support for the time until the divorce is filed or finalized. The money in your joint account is just that, joint. It belong to both of you equally and seperately. So he was entitled to remove the money at anytime.
    However. Keep a record and get the bank to give you a statement for the time period that he would have removed the money. Make sure your lawyer sees it and understands what happened. Sometimes the court will require him to pay part of that money upfront or take it into consideration when the assets and debts are totalled and divided.
    Personally I would ask the court to require him to pay through social services simply because his lack of concern for the children gives cause to worry
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • about the likelyhood of hime paying his CS. If the have tabs from the beginning it is easier for them to keep him paying.
    Make sure you get records of all the assets now.
    I would also take his ring to the people that buy gold and sell it off.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:31 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Not immediately but make sure you have records of how much was in there. When it comes time to divide assets, they will take that into consideration.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:34 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • Make sure you bring your cheating evidence to court. And, have a revised petition for divorce filed stating infidelity as the reason. You can't do anything about the money now but, you'll be entitled to half of his 401K.

    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 8:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

  • ca is a no fault state. it simply doesn't matter that he cheats.
    Tesserae

    Comment by Tesserae (original poster) at 8:38 PM on Mar. 28, 2013

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