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2 Bumps

Mostly a vent

Yesterday was Easter. I cooked and prepped for two days. My DDIL is pagan and my son goes that route as well. Generally speaking, We have silent prayer at the table and the religious aspects of the day is not present during the 3 or so hours during the day. In otherwords we make our meal time all friendly.
The first thing out of her mouth was happy zombie Jesus day.
I just looked at her a moment and then greated my DGD. She went on about how I didn't think it was fun and I finally said that no it was not funny.
Though it annoyed me, I did not let it affect my day.
She is 24 and knows very well what she was doing.

Here is my question.
At this moment in time, I am thinking that I should, simply not invite them to any family dinners on religious days and that will just avoid a reoccurance. That doesn't feel right either.
So, if it were you, what would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Apr. 1, 2013 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • i would still invite her but i would talk to her about what happen. and tell her you do not want it at another get together. to be 24 and to do that is childish

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I think if you don't invite them, it will hurt your son feelings and be more trouble then it's worth. Maybe lay down a rule. No saying rude things about one another's beliefs while in your home.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:23 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I would ignore it.....

    Answer by older at 1:30 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I, too, am pagan. While I don't share Christian beliefs, I also don't disrespect them. I give Christians (and all other religions) the same respect I expect to get from them.

    I would suggest you respond to her the same I respond when a Christian or some other religion say something like that to me. "I respect your beliefs. Why can't you show me the same respect?" Some people simply don't think about how what they're saying comes across. The "zombie Jesus" thing - when you consider the definition of a zombie is someone who rises from the dead, yeah, some could see that as funny, because if you went by that definition, yeah, he would seem to be a zombie. But it's a matter of knowing your audience - she knows your beliefs, so she should have known this was inappropriate. So call her on the disrespect, but don't make it a huge thing. I wouldn't stop inviting them in the future, though, as that really only hurts their child.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:37 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • happy zombie Jesus day - that's a new one. Even my 46 yr old Catholic DH saw the humor in that one. Very current given that zombies are all the rage right now. Let it go.... see the humor in it... life's too short to let crap like that get under your skin.

    Answer by Crafty26 at 3:10 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I'd let it go. Your family should be more important to you than any religious holiday. I mean what's even the point in celebrating them without family?

    Answer by 3libras at 1:23 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • Learn to let it go off your back. If you don't invite them that means the granddaughter can't come either which I'm sure you'll miss more then putting up with crap from you DIL. Just look at her with this glazed look in your eyes and then shake your head and walk away. Don't let her get to you.

    Answer by baconbits at 1:24 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • She is an immature (for 24 years old) disrespectful ass. But to keep the peace & also since she is already a jerk & you can't get through to a jerk, I would nicely say prior to the next Holiday event, "I know you are not comfortable with my religion & I don't want you to be offended or uncomfortable in any way so if you would like to stay home & not partake in my Traditions then I totally understand. It must be hard for you to feel a part of it so I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings in any way, so have a great day!"

    Maybe she will realize that her behavior is unacceptable. This way you are telling her if you have to be an ass then stay home.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:30 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I might try a different approach next time. You've tried catering to her and she didn't seem to at all appreciate that you did. So what if you plan your celebration as you would if she weren't present? Then you let her choose whether or not she wishes to participate on her own. If she doesn't like the way you do it, she is free to leave. I have found that people tend to respect us more when we honor our own beliefs than they do when we try to cater to theirs. So, in this case, I think it would be well worth a shot.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:43 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I agree with Crafty. DH and are both Christian, but we've always found "zombie Jesus day" to be funny. Do you know she was intentionally being rude? Or perhaps was it just a misunderstanding?

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 3:56 PM on Apr. 1, 2013