Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How should bullies be punished?

I dealt w/ bullying through out my childhood. Hurtful words, catty comments, & physical attacks. Because of this I dealt w/ depression, & spent many nights crying myself to sleep. Even to this day I fight against low self esteem, little confidence, & very little self worth.

Last Sat. I read a story in the newspaper about a boy named Parti Holland II who had also dealt w/ bullying for years, and had taken his own life on the day when he should have been celebrating his 14th birthday. This story broke my heart! He was described as a 'gentle giant'. Easygoing, happy-go-lucky, & an all around good kid.

I feel that kids need to be taught that there are true lasting consequences to their words & actions. I doubt that many of the kids will feel even partially to blame for this poor boy's pain & misery that led him to believe that ending his own life was the only way to excape.

There needs to be mediation & intervention programs set up. Teachers, staff, & students need to realize that their silence, or looking the other way, only adds to the problem.

My question is, are there anti-bullying laws in place to punish these kids who choose to bully other kids? What kind of punishments/ programs should be dealt out to these kids to put a stop to the bullying & encourage kids to find other ways to deal w/ problems w/ other kids?

Answer Question
 
HappyEndings

Asked by HappyEndings at 4:06 PM on Apr. 1, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,429 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • They should have to do some sort of work in a place were they are observed and have to be nice.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I am so tired of hearing, there aught to be a law.
    It should be dealt with on an individual basis.
    And I was bullied. Grow up and get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • some kids can't "get over it" anon. but I do think that other kids that see it need to stand up for the kid being picked on if the kids doesn't stand up for themselves. I was picked on in the 6th grade by this snobby little shit that lived in the biggest house in our town. he called me poor....my solution? I beat the shit out of him. some kids don't do this though, and should have some way of getting help. at my kids school, they have a website and # to report bullying. idk how helpful it is though.
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 4:12 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I don't know what additional measures can or should be taken. I think before anything additional is proposed that bully laws and policies should be enforced with the negative consequences being a burden only for the bully. Too many times these policies give too much leeway for the punishment to be shared with the victim and that isn't right. For instance a kid being bullied being allowed to eat in the library instead of the lunchroom, or to leave class a couple minutes early so as to reduce on their shared time in the hallway during class changes. These allowances, while help reduce exposure, make the victim sometimes feel isolated and that just makes them the victim all over again.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:13 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • it's parents like the anonymous that allow their children to hurt other children. I think public humiliation is a good start if not maybe a little lock up in juvi. There is a sup where I work and he is a huge bully and is cruel to everyone. If they bully when they are young and get away with it they will bully when they are older. The sup here threatens everyone's job here, even though he has no power to fire you himself he makes it sound like he is good buddies with the one's that can.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:21 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • josie
    I am going to teach my kids to walk away and ignore and if it continues then knock the damn kid on his/her ass.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:26 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • Starts at home first children need to be taught boundaries.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:35 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I was also bullied when I started a new school in 7th Grade. The group gathered around taking turns kicking me. You know what, I was taught to hold my head up high and not let others bother me. I did not cry... I did not tattle. That let me know who I could trust and who I could not. I understand there are always those that go overboard with things. The thing is, what constitutes bullying? How do you determine that? I was also involved in a very serious car accident when I was 15. We did not prosecute the driver either... even though one was killed. We have to know how to handle life.... good or bad. I don't know what the answer is, but again, there will always be those that call bullying over minor issues. The thing is, you, as a parent, have to teach your children how to handle situations that arrive in their lives. You cannot protect them forever from this big bad world.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 4:36 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • It should be handled by the parents of the bullies, but unfortunately, it isn't. When I was a child, the school bully who wasn't physically disciplined at home could be at school. But that's no longer an option either. Perhaps you could volunteer to be an advocate of those children who are being bullied in your local school, teaching them that they are not the ones who have a problem--it's the bully who has the problem!! I had a male high school principal who kept and used a paddle. It might surprise you to know that bullying was not a problem in that school.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:39 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • Unfortunately, we can pass laws all day long, but till we as a society get over the idea that our kids can do no wrong, and whatever happens must be someone else's fault, bullies will be bullies. My sister teaches kindergarten, and she's seen it over and over--a kid starts picking on his peers, even physically, and the parents always have an excuse why he shouldn't be held responsible. The most common one is that it must be the teacher's fault for not accommodating his learning style, or not keeping him challenged enough or busy enough. It's never that he's a spoiled brat or a mean little shit and the parentsneed to curb him, no way.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:43 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.