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DH and I have our cemetary plots and have for years. We are now thinking about prepaying for our funeral services. If we arainged our services and how we want them carried out would they do it the way we want or if another relative, presumable a a child or grandchild (depending on when we actually do die) wanted it changed would they go with their wishes instead.
Odd question I know, but it is an odd day.

No catagory exactly covers this so since it is an investment in a way, I opted for here.


Asked by Dardenella at 6:27 PM on Apr. 1, 2013 in Money & Work

Level 47 (265,097 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • It makes sense to me to plan and pay for what you want. If someone changes it later, well, funerals are really for the living, and you won't care. But you'll make a lot of the hard decisions ahead of time. Just make sure your wishes are clearly written down and given to someone. My grandma had planned out what she wanted and written it down, but when she died, nobody knew where the plans were or what they entailed, so we had to start from scratch, which caused a lot of family resentment because everybody thought he or she knew what the plans would have said if we had them.

    Answer by Ballad at 7:15 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • My mom had a prepaid plan the the Neptune Society. It was very helpful to me that everything was already done. The only thing I did was plan a memorial service.


    Answer by musicmaker at 6:30 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • my dad wants to be cremated- personal feelings aside, i HAVE to continue to give the man the same respect in death that we have shared in life.

    Answer by feralxat at 6:39 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • It makes sense to do this, just remember when you plan it that it is really for the benefit of the living, to help them come to grips, say good bye and have a spot to go to if they want. That being said, maybe try to make choices that will be easier for your survivors to just accept instead of being overly practical.
    If I had to send my mom off in a pine box, I know she wouldn't mind, but it would be hard for me.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 6:39 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • Dardenalla, I very much appreciated that she had done this. She made it clear what SHE wanted, and that's what mattered. She wanted to be cremated and her ashes spread in the sea, just like my Dad. We did not have a funeral. I still had a memorial service, and I planned the entire thing, so I did have some say. Worked for me.


    Answer by musicmaker at 6:54 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • Well Dard, I guess after reading all this, you just have to spell it all out for them & tell them if it's changed in any way, you will come back to haunt them! lol :p


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:11 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I'd think they'd do what you want, especially if it's paid for.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:41 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • YOUR plan is what they do. If it's paid for,they have no reason to do otherwise

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:29 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • I bet you could specify that you want it according to your wishes or you give permission to have it changed. And leave it in your will as such.

    Answer by daylily888 at 6:29 PM on Apr. 1, 2013

  • That's a lie that they wll do what you wish and plan. My grandfather wanted o be cremated with a memorial service later on. My grandmother ( who's an attention whore) changed his entire funeral to Plan a two day wake, funeral, graveside services etc.. My grandpa did not want any of that. End of the day if they're willing o pay for it they will change it.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 7:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2013