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Rebounds

If you found out the person you currently got into a relationship with broke up with their ex less than a month ago and they are already in a relationship with you, and lived with the person they broke up with would this be a big red flag to you, how would you handle it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:11 AM on Apr. 2, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • I would need more information than this. I'd need to know why they broke up, was it a sudden decision, had they emotionally left the relationship before they actually broke up, how long they'd lived together and when they moved in together. The answers to those questions would affect whether I would be bothered that they broke up with their live-in SO less than a month ago.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:28 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • lived together for four months were even talking about marriage. Hell two weeks ago he was telling me he didn't want it over forever and that he was still in love with me. If I ever met a guy that told me he just broke up with his gf 20 days ago that would personally not be a guy I would be interested in it shows he doesn't take relationships seriously bouncing from person to person is not good and ends in disaster.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:32 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • What would concern me more would be that he lived with a girl for four months. I would hope he would be so in love with a girl he moved in with that it wouldn't go bad in 4 months. When I met my husband we both had recently gotten out of serious relationships recently - him a months long relationship and me a 12 year marriage. We were/are right for each other, regardless of how recent our past relationships had been. When it's right, it's right and little else matters.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:42 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • I would think that dating someone for 4 weeks is hardly a relationship, so I would be thankful that you dodged a serial dater! He sounds kind of immature.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 8:50 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • He sounds like he is a clingy man child that is looking for a perpetual mother figure.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:00 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • jersey-4 months not 4 weeks
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:03 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • Quinn-I agree it seems like he cannot be alone, I just don't think jumping from relationship to another relationship is smart. When you break up with someone stay single for awhile figure out what you want and make sure its what you want before you take a plunge right into another relationship.

    I am just saying if I knew he did all this I wouldn't wanna date someone like that. I especially wouldn't wanna start a relationship with someone who was telling his ex 12 days ago he loved her still felt like she was the one. I would know I was getting used as a rebound.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:05 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • "stay single for awhile figure out what you want"

    That's not necessarily needed. Sometimes you DO know what you want and that's why you end the relationship: because you're not getting what you want from it.

    "with someone who was telling his ex 12 days ago he loved her still felt like she was the one. I would know I was getting used as a rebound. "

    You're assuming he's telling her that. I would not assume that. It's highly unlikely he's being completely honest with her about what happened. You also need to keep in mind here that everything you're using as a reason she shouldn't want him is from your perspective. He likely sees things very differently than you do.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:16 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • Okay correcxt me if I am wrong, but he is now dating someone for a month (hardly a relationship) he got out of a 4 month relationship 20 days ago right? Or he has now been dating the new person for 4 months, and met her 20 days after the end of the long term relationship? 2 weeks ago, while seeing th new woman, he was telling you that he wanted to get back together? I would run for the hills and not communicate with him anymore.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 10:20 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

  • Some people feel that they need to be in a relationship. Some seem to need someone to take care of them. Some won't leave one warm bed until they have another one lined up to jump into right after leaving the last. Some people are sex / love addicts and go from person to person with little thought. 


    The person you describe isn't someone I would feel I could build a future with.  I don't think I could trust that his love was real.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:21 AM on Apr. 2, 2013

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