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my daughter is going to be 7 yrs. old like i mentioned in my last questioned my boyfriend and i have been together for a year..

how do i let my daughter know that he is not trying to replace her father. she is a little upset that i have a boyfriend. i need some advice as to how to break it down to her?? please help.. i don't want to hurt her in anyway..
thanks in advance.

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Ciny51

Asked by Ciny51 at 4:19 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • is she upset about you having a boyfriend or is it him she doesnt like??? Is there a reason she doesnt like that you have a boyfriend... I think there is more you need to talk to her about. Because if she is unhappy there has got to be a reason behind it, (at that age)...and maybe its just not a good time to pursue a realtionship. my mom had boyfriends when I was growing up so I dealth with alot of crapand always felt like she never had anytime for me.
    Hope this has helped.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I have recently dealt with this with my oldest son (he's techincally my stepson) He didn't want me around b/c he thought if I left then his mother and his father would get back together. We sat down and talked wth him and finally got everything out of him that was bothering him. I would suggest that you both sit down with her and have a talk. It helps a lot and make sure that he says that he's not trying to take the place of her father.
    Juggalette0327

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 4:52 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I agree with juggalette that maybe she thinks if your boyfriend is gone you will get back together with her father. How long has it been since you and her father divorced/broke up? Perhaps she hasn't fully dealt with the situation yet, and is taking out her feelings of confusion, insecurity, and fear on your boyfriend, along with hoping you'll get back together with dad. Have you thought about having her see a counselor? Not even a therapist, necessarily, but maybe a minister or just someone close to her that she can talk to, other than you and/or dad. I'm thinking that it's possible she is scared to tell you how she really feels, and maybe talking to someone else will allow her to open up and get all her fears and thoughts out there, where they can be dealt with.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:02 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • yea, u need to find out what exactly is bothering her... if she's not feeling like she gets enough attention and she's jealous, that can be fixed. but it could just be something about him. i don't wanna take it to the extreme, but children are usually good at being able to see a bad person for who they really are. and adults, especially when in love, tend to see things through rose colored glasses and won't always listen to anything anyone has to say about the one they love. u don't wanna find out later on in life the reason she didn't like him was because he was abusing her in any way. so, talk to her, just u two because his presence might intimidate her and keep her silent... try to get to the bottom of her feelings and go from there. i know all this sounds negative, but it could really help in the long run if u handle everything now. and don't just brush off whatever ur lil girl says just because she's a child, either...
    AmberCakes84

    Answer by AmberCakes84 at 6:04 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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